The Epic of Cod Liver Oil

Long ago, well over 30 years because I was still teaching and not yet a stockbroker, I asked my then sister-in-law, Sandy, how she kept her skin so beautiful. She had a truly remarkable youthful complexion and according to the last time I saw her, still does even though we're past our 50s. (Okay, well past our 50s) She told me it was Cod Liver Oil. She applied it to her skin at night and then simply washed it off in the morning. She said her husband wasn't crazy about the smell but since she used it only once a week it was no problem.

Of course, finding this wonderful beauty aide that was particularly inexpensive made me leap with glee and rush to the store to purchase a large bottle of Cod Liver oil. I could hardly wait until bed time when I'd slather the beauty treatment all over my body and after a good nights rest, wake up looking a decade younger and simply fabulous.

The oil smelled far worse than I had imagined but it was worth a little inconvenience. It was a Friday night and since my husband at the time was a musician besides being a teacher, I had the evening to myself once my daughter went to sleep.

I liberally poured the oil into the palm of my hand and begin to apply it to every area of my body, including my feet. The smell was horrific. I decided to tone it down by covering my body with a heavy sweat suit. That did take some of the odor away but I had to keep moving throughout the house to keep from gagging. Standing still was not an option. Determined to make this work, I maintained motion throughout the evening. The air around me was heavy with a scent resembling that of a fish market on a hot day.

By 3:00 a.m. my ex-husband arrived home. His immediate reaction was to ask if a large fish had died and rotted somewhere in the house. Of course, I told him of the effort I was making to turn back the clock and have lovely skin the rest of my life. We agreed that it might be best if I slept on the couch, now covered in blanket to prevent the oil from absorbing into the fibers.

Unlike most Saturday mornings, I arose quickly for my shower. I could no longer tolerate the smell of the oil. The steam filled the bathroom with the smell of a fish market as I scrubbed every square inch of my body. Unfortunately, even after the shower, I couldn't pass the sniff test. I still had the noxious odor of the cod liver oil clinging to every pore. I showered again, sniffed, then another time. The smell didn't budge. I began to panic and frantically searched for the strongest scented soap I could find and headed back to the shower, this time armed with a back scrubber. Nothing seemed to neutralize the smell and after becoming pruney from all the showers, had to face not only the fact that the odor wasn't disappearing but deal with the scent on the blanket and sweat suit.

I arose early in the morning to start the ritualistic showers, by my count, number 20. Thank heavens it was Sunday and I didn't have to go to work. The showers continued throughout the day and the smell subsided substantially. I might have conquered the odor. We'd see what the morning held. In the mean time, I simply threw the sweatsuit away after the initially washing. It seemed to hold the scent of "not-so-fresh" fish even more than my skin.

After two brisk and thorough showers, I proceeded to school. I avoided sitting close to anyone in the lounge and dodged the children's attempt to come close. I made it through the first day of the week. There still were moments I could smell the odor that had now become the enemy. By the weekend, they seemed to dissipate, just in time for a shopping adventure.

The mall was crowded but I had clothing to buy and no odor so it didn't deter me. However, after several hours, perspiration began to form on my brow. With that perspiration came the familiar scent of cod liver oil oozing from every pore in my body. I immediately left the mall. It took weeks before the odor didn't revive itself when I perspired.

It wasn't until a few minutes ago while talking to my daughter about her cat's medical condition that I remembered this period. I had attempted to wipe it from my mind completely. What brought it to mind was my suggestion for a remedy for her cat "Big Boy." (Not his real name. It's been changed as part of the witness protection program. Okay, not really. All her cats have names beginning with M. I simply call him Big Boy because I can't remember the right one.) I suggested Cod Liver Oil to help the condition. Later in our conversation, I mentioned Castor oil. She then queried, "So which one is it? Cod Liver Oil or Castor Oil." I suddenly had a flash of insight as a light bulb went off in my head. I turned the phone onto speaker, ran to the computer and pulled up Google.

At the time of the cod liver oil debacle, there was no Internet to check the facts. Word of mouth and the library were all that was available. By simply Googling Castor oil, I found that it is wonderful for the complexion. It seems that the constant showers, the smell and dodging the public wasn't necessary. After all these years, I just realized, I simply had purchased the wrong oil.