The Equalizing of Urination

I can't believe I'm really writing this article, but someone has to do it!

Like many men with wives or girlfriends, I long ago decided that the benches or chairs outside of women's restrooms are for the guys to sit on while they wait for their female companion as she slowly makes her way into the restroom and the tedious process of doing what she has to do. As my wife explains, part of the time involved is adjusting dress or slacks to make possible sitting down on the toilet, something that is a much faster process for men if urination is the goal.

Several years ago, female urinals came into vogue in an effort to speed up the urination process for women. An article on Wikipedia gives an overview of urinals in general with some information about women's urinals. For more information, Google "urinals for women" and see what's out there. It should be noted that female urinals are not as popular as the manufacturers had hoped that they would be because they tend to be inconvenient depending on what the user is wearing.

Given that largely failed attempt at convenience for women, Mark Steyn, in his book America Alone (see reference information below) reports an attempt to "feminize" male urination. According to Steyn, Stehpinkeln (a German word for standing while urinating) is "disapproved of in Germany," to the point where a manufacturer has produced a device that can be fitted to toilets. When the seat is raised, a voice alarm is activated and warns the standing urinator that standing urination is not allowed and that fines can be levied for those who disregard the warning. For more on this device, see an older article on the Wall Street Journal's online website.

The ostensible reason for the new approach to male urinating is to reduce the work of cleaning women who have to deal with the results of men whose aim is not what it should be.

Is it that simple? The first thing that occurred to me when I read about relieving the cleaning women was a question: "Won't they clean the floor anyway, regardless of the mess or lack of mess?" Also, my wife tells me that women's restrooms can be a horror to use.

Is there a deeper reason? I suspect that behind the move and behind the stated reason is a desire to equalize the genders. If bathroom breaks are inconvenient for women, let's make them inconvenient for men, too. According to the article on the Journal's website, "in German, the phrase for someone who sits and urinates, a 'Sitzpinkler,' is equivalent to 'wimp,' The article goes on to mention a book by a Klaus Schwerma, Stehpinkeln: Die Letzte Bastionder Männlichkeit?-- the title of which translates as "Standing Urinators: The Last Bastion of Masculinity?"

Is this an attack on masculinity? Is this an attempt to reduce gender differences?

Whatever you make of this, I was reminded of an incident in the Old Testament of the Holy Bible. A man named Gideon has been picked by God to lead the people of Israel against the Midianites who were oppressing them. Gideon gathers an army of 32,00, but that's too large because the glory for the victory has to go to God. Through a process of elimination, the number is reduced to 300. The final test is drinking water from the river. Those who stood on their feet and lapped water from their hands were kept. Those who knelt down to drink were sent home. What made the difference? Those who remained standing showed that they were ready to fight. (See Judges 7)

My mind wandered to a situation where men are in a bathroom and invaders attack the area. In their masculine desire to fight and defend, the men who are sitting and urinating are forced to yell, "Just a minute, I have to stand up and pull up my pants, then I'll be ready." The ones who are standing have a simpler process of getting ready.

A small point, perhaps, but I wonder how far we can push equality without losing something important-and critical-in the process.

Sources:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urinals

Mark Steyn, America Alone (Washington D.C.: Regnery Publishing, 2006)

http://www.opinionjournal.com/best/?id=110005493