The Facebook Breakup

Have any of you ever woken up on a Saturday or Sunday morning to discover that one of your friends has tagged 18 photos of you from the night before that you don't quite remember taking? Have you ever received 15 comments on your wall from people you don't know that well due to a change in your relationship status? Do you ever find yourself saying at least a few times a day "I hate facebook," when really you check your profile every hour? If there is one thing that I learned after the first day of college, it is that facebook is an unavoidable evil. It is a great tool to stay in contact with friends and send invitations, but you pay a great price for such a tool: your privacy. However! The good news is that some of my most amusing dramas from freshman year came about because of facebook. I will describe briefly for you one of the most fascinating of these dramas: The Facebook Breakup.

When I went to college many of my friends (including myself) were in long distance relationships. Of course, most of these relationships ended within the first few weeks of college. The most memorable of these breakups happened with a friend down the hall. This breakup was memorable due to the classic "facebook war" she had with her ex in Colarodo the week after they broke up. This "facebook war," as many facebook wars, involved 3 main steps:

Changing Your "Relationship Status"

Of course, the first thing you do when you breakup with someone on the phone is not to cry or call your best friend. Instead, you absolutely must change your facebook status from "In a Relationship" to Single. You may think I'm joking, but this is exactly what my friend (as well as many of my other friends) did after a breakup.

Changing Pictures

Not only do you have to change your profile picture of your with your past "love," you also have to make sure that you have untagged all of the romantic pictures you had together. As my friend told me, the purpose of such an action was to "Make the other person feel bad."

Writing Comments About What a Horrible Person Your Ex Is

For many people it is not enough to just end a relationship with a breakup. Many times your bitterness causes you to have a thought that goes something like this, "I'm going to make sure that everyone who is my friend on facebook knows what a horrible person my ex is." Of course, such an action serves two purposes; to indirectly tell your boyfriend how much you hate him while at the same time thinking that if your publish your thoughts on your ex he/she will never be able to find a significant other again : )