The Family Justice System
1. There are two judges, my wife is the primary judge. She presides over many of the day to day trials. I am the secondary judge. The secondary judge is sometimes brought in on especially heinous crimes and often takes the bench some evenings when the primary judge has "had it" and requests, "you deal with them". It is also not uncommon for both judges to preside over the same trial simultaneously.
2 There is no such thing as double jeopardy. You can be tried and convicted by the primary judge, and then face a second trial when the secondary judge returns home from his day job.
3. Judges can sometimes also be key witnesses; "I know you hit your sister because I saw you do it!".
4. You are not guaranteed a chance to testify in your own behalf; "You get your butt upstairs and don't you say another word!".
5. Sometimes the primary judge assumes the role of defense attorney; "I think your being a little harsh on her".
6. Sometimes the primary judge assumes the role of prosecutor; " All you have to say is 'knock it off?' you're not going to ground her for life?!"
7. Sometimes the secondary judge has no idea what the primary judge wants him to do, or say, but he can tell that she is expecting something by the way she is glaring at him. She will sometimes prompt him by mouthing the verdict or sentence behind the accused's back so that he can then repeat the words in his
" Stern voice ."
8. The " Court of Jon" does not prohibit the use of "cruel and unusual" punishment; "If you don't eat every lima bean on that plate, I will make you eat them every meal for a year!" or "you are grounded from the television until you're thirty five!"
Published by Jon
Husband and Dad who makes a living climbing towers, which is cool according to my daughters. Unfortunately, this type of work requires a lot of travel, so I am home as little as once a month. This is not co... View profile
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