The Fathering Aspect of Parenthood

Being a father and also a spouse is sometimes a "double duty" situation. You've just spent several months with a "sometimes" hormonal mother to be, and now another big journey is just around the corner. Thoughts of security and protection immediately flood into your mind the moment you look into those innocent eyes of your child. Life is now completely changing from the life you knew before.

In the Beginning

You're no longer the brightest twinkle in your wife's eyes, because now there's a new twinkle in her eye. And now you'd have to really be blind to miss this look in her eye. A new star has just been born, and this star will shine extremely bright for the rest of your life. You learn to take a back seat in life as new situations arrive at a moments notice; without complaint.

As your mind settles into this new situation, you begin to realize exactly what you're in for. Gone are the nice quiet nights of snuggling up on the couch to watch the latest movie, or a nice intimate conversation. Your days are now spent looking after the recuperating mother and child.

Realization

Soon you realize that you're actually smarter than you thought. You learn to help out with the child, and every once in a while you even come up with a great idea. Now mom is proud of you, because now you've just become a "father."

Now you realize that you enjoy doing these parental things. What happened? Your time is no longer spent as it was before, and you notice that you really don't care. Life is now really beginning to come together as you watch mother and child, and the love that's passed between the two of them. Mom has now achieved what her soul has always longed for, and she's almost complete. Now you realize that you're becoming a "family."

Pride begins to swell in your heart as you watch the two of them; whether it's at a meal or visiting a relative. Older couples smile and look at the three of you in the store, and your ego and pride swells even more as you carry this tiny person in your arms.

A Father is Born

Now you begin to wonder who you really where before. The life you seemed to have enjoyed before now seems to have been such a shallow existence. You wonder what you ever did to fill your days before. But don't worry empty days are not the problem anymore.

Then comes the day when the first words are muttered, and you hear the innocent voice say, "Da Da." Now you're hooked for the rest of your life. The days come and go and turn into years as the children grow into young adults. Now the kids are ready for a life of their own, but you're not quite ready to let them go.

I've watched my daughter abandon me in a blinding snowstorm when I went to pick her up at work (over a young man) only to be left sitting alone waiting. I've seen this same young lady being sworn into the Army as tears rolled down my cheeks. My daughter is now with child as another grandchild is preparing for this world.

Grandparents Evolve

Now another stage of growth is just beginning, as more grandchildren are several months away. I suppose if I do any more growing sometimes that I'll explode, or either be too old to enjoy it.

Being a father has changed my life in more ways than I could have ever changed it being single. I've taught good morals and lessons for life, and watched it grow in both of our children. But, I've also learned many valuable lessons from our children.

Children have a way of opening up your eyes to see things which "sometimes" you were too blind to see. Soon you begin to realize: who you are, what you are, and who you can be.