The First Experience

It all began so lonely and scared. Unexpected people, an unexpected life.

Strangers all around, everyone knowing it better.

Going from arm to arm. Not knowing where you belong.

Who are you to trust, what will happen next.

Everyone smiling, but you don't know why.

Feeling lost and alone even though they are there.

Finally safe with people that say they love you.

You have your baths and get fed everyday.

A reflection in the mirror. Trapped in a wooden cage.

Barely being able to stand. What is that?

When you move it move's. That is strange.

The first real confrontation with "YOU".

Getting stronger and stronger, bigger and bigger.

Little white candies. What would they taste like?

One, two, three candies all for you.

Mc Donalds a word you don't forget.

In the back seat of a car, turning green with a bad sweat.

Pointing at the people flying by. "There goes Mommy. (hahaha) There goes Daddy (hahaha)" The shock on her face. Something you don't forget.

White everything is white, white people, white sheets, white all white.

Alone in a room, pure and white. In the window it happens.

You are no longer alone. He is big, wearing a tuxedo.

He has hair all over him. Saying:"Say Cheese." You say cheese. He says:"No, not like that, say cheeeeeeeeeeeeese!" No matter how you try, it just is not right. A Lady in white, wearing a white thing on her head. She comes inside and goes back out.

He is gone, the window is a window, nothing there.

"Don't tell the lady you saw me." He is back. He is not a person.

He is a big ape, in a tuxedo.

Sitting in a gray tub, scared yet curious, you black out and don't remember.

Funny how the people around you are pushing your bed around the big white hallway. Why are they making such a fuss?

Seems the neighbors son made his own candy's.

An experience that you always remember.

You had just barely learned how to walk.

Your first experience with L.S.D.

You were not suppose to survive, yet you are still here.

What does it all mean? Your a survivor!

Could this be the reason why you are different?

Is this the reason why school was so hard to follow?

Everyone you ask, they don't take you serious.

Though you now it is hard to learn new things. Much more difficult than for other people. You have learned to hide it, but you know. Only you know that it is true. Even if you try to explain, no one will hear you, because no one believes you. Maybe it is better. Better that they don't see it.

Still feeling lost and alone, after all those years.

Trying to survive, because you know you are a survivor!