The First Lady on Facebook and Teens

First Lady Michelle Obama isn't the only mother to think that her daughters, Sasha, 9 and Malia 12 don't "need" a Facebook account. Not only is it a security issue involving the Secret Service, but on "The Today Show" she is quoted as saying she "is not a big fan of young kids having Facebook." (See the video on YouTube) The recent uproar over Sarah Palin's daughter's activities on Facebook may be among the many reasons why parents may agree with the First Lady's opinion. Recently Willow Palin's status messages calling someone a "low life loser" and "faggot." (To view the conversation in its entirety visit this Huffington Post article). Even Facebook owner Mark Zuckerberg has found out how far some people will go when using Facebook, as one "friend" reportedly stalked him, his sister and his girlfriend. In that case a temporary restraining order has been granted.

Reasons Why Parent's May Just Say No to Facebook Friends
Many parents worry about privacy and security. Other parents are concerned about boundaries being crossed, while still others are concerned about cyber bullying, taunting, and even death threats. These are the more serious issues, but there are also concerns about downloads, viruses, spam and phishing scams. After all, how many times has even the most experienced adult Facebook user been caught with spam on their face as they access the wrong link or video that someone has "shared?"

Other parents; disagree stating that a Facebook account can encourage discussions, social interactions and even Internet responsibility when used and monitored properly.

Tips for Securing Your Teens Safety on Facebook
If you decide on a Facebook account for your pre-teen and teen, you may want to establish some firm guidelines regarding privacy, security, downloads, stalkers, sextortion, and cyber bullying. This mom of a teen offers up this Parent/Child Facebook Contract that specifies what her teen daughter may and may not do on her Facebook account and what the consequences will be for violating the contract. She uses this contract to teach her teen responsible online conduct as well as self-confidence and empowerment.

Use the privacy settings. As you set up the account with your child set the privacy settings according to your comfort level. Teens, like mine for example, may think that a friend of a friend is a friend. You on the other hand may have a different definition of "friend."

Establish who can (and can't) contact your teen. My daughter knows that she cannot receive any messages from anyone unless they are on her friends list.

"Confirm" your teen's friends list. You can be a friend yourself and see whenever someone is added to your teenager's friends list and then follow up with the "bona fides" of this particular friend or you can monitor the friend button, establishing that no one is a friend on Facebook, unless you say so. However, a recent study by Kaplan Test Prep of approximately 2300 teens shows that 38% of teens just say "no" to a friend request by a parent or guardian. The study also showed that 16% of the teenagers that do add their parent or guardian as a friend did so as a pre-condition of having a Facebook account.

Another alternative is to have access to your child's Facebook account. You will have the log in information and password and log in occasionally to check the status of your child's account.

You could also limit the amount of time spent online, even going so far as to setting up a locking account on the computer that shuts it down after x number of minutes.

Visit the room occasionally and take a peak over your teen's shoulder. This way you can be the angel on their shoulder instead of the devil that may be whispering in their ear.

Conduct random Facebook reviews. This way you are simply a "presence" but not exactly a spy.

What did this writer and parent do? I prefer the hit and run method of monitoring, however, my teenager found that after a few months she had better things to do than hang out on the computer and discuss the day with kids she had already been seeing all day, and will see the next day, and the next - well you get the idea.

Surprisingly enough, my adult "child" sent me a friend request, which was unexpected, but also accepted. It's been fun to see what's going on while he is in college as well as staying in touch with many of his friends that I knew when they were just tweens and teens.

Facebook Terms of Service state that children under 13 are not permitted accounts, but most children can do the math and figure out a brand new date of birth, that is if they are determined to have their own account. It can't hurt a parent to do a random "review" using the Friends search engine just to be sure that there haven't been any loopholes either for their preteens (under the age of 13) or for their teens, just to make sure they know what is going one whenever their child shows their "face" in public.

For more information find out what parents have to say in "Parents Share Their Opinions on the Safety of Social Networking Sites and Children," and for information on social networking security "Facebook, Twitter and Me: Under Attack by Scams and Phishing," and "Did You Post Please Rob Me on Your Facebook or Twitter Page?"

For more information on your teen and Facebook read the Children's Online Privacy and Protection Act, Facebook's Terms of Use and the Facebook Privacy Policy.

Sources:

USA Today

Kaplan Test Prep Study /Reuters

MSNBC.com