The First Wild Weeks of Life

For nine months you have been planning and anticipating the birth of your child. You have dreams and hopes, expectations and plans. You spend months putting together schedules, learning what you need to know, researching all possibilities for your child. Then your child is born and everything you researched, learned, planned is thrown out the window and you start to wonder what happened to all the knowledge you gained when you were pregnant?

Before the child is born it's easy to make the plans. The problem with making these plans and setting up these expectations is that often there is no way to fully stick to the plan. Coming into the birth of a child with an open mind and accepting that some of your wishes will not be met will allow for more peace of mind after having your child.

What I found out after my second daughter was born was the following:

Realizing my feeding wants didn't happen and that's okay. Even though I planned to breastfeed, due to blood sugars at birth, I wasn't able to breastfeed. I was disappointed that it didn't work out, but realized quickly that my baby was happy and growing and that made me happy.

Realizing that my youngest is nothing like my oldest daughter. I realized that this baby isn't going to sleep through the night at eight weeks like my first had. I thought I'd have a baby that was just like my first, easy going, a great sleeper and a great eater. I was wrong on all points. My newest addition wasn't the best of sleepers, she didn't eat normally and is very fussy.

Realizing my dreams were a bit too rainbows and kittens, and not based in reality. I've spent the first five weeks getting a huge dose of reality over the dreams I had in my head. I've spent five weeks learning my daughter's schedule and trying to stick to it. I've been learning how she eats and how to help her eat more properly. I've learned several techniques for helping a fussy, gassy baby, something I never expected from any child of mine.

Realizing that my oldest needs to learn how to interact with the baby, that she won't automatically know what to do. I've spent five weeks trying to teach my four year old to not yell at the baby to wake her up. I've spent five weeks trying to keep my oldest's hands off the baby. But I've found great joy when my four year old goes up to her sister and says, "I love you so much!" and gives her a kiss or comes to me saying how much she missed the baby while she was at school.

I've experienced great joy and great stress in the first five weeks. Nothing has gone the way I planned it, but everything has turned out great. Whether you are a new mother or a mother of many, knowing that plans fall through, that your dreams may not come true allow you to better adapt to the many surprises life brings you. Also recognizing that your child is not the same as your other children, the neighbors child, or your friends child will keep you from having sleepless nights of worry. And remember to have fun! They're only this age once, enjoy it!