The Fisher Queen

If Carrie Fisher needed a place to put all the baggage in her life, WalMart wouldn't be big enough: alcoholism, a dead guy in her bed, drug abuse, a turbulent, on-and-off relationship with the brilliant egomaniac Paul Simon, shock therapy, a louse of a father, and Star Wars.

In spite of it all, I think what's helped keep the sharp-tongued actress and best-selling author alive has been her intellect, quiet strength, and barbed-wire sense of humor. For example, when Elizabeth Taylor's husband Mike Todd died in a plane crash, Carrie remembered how her father Eddie Fisher visited Taylor and "consoled the grieving widow with his penis." Oww. Never shy about speaking her mind, Carrie would have been great drinking buddies with Dorothy Parker.

However, other than her breathtaking, scene-stealing debut with Warren Beatty in Shampoo and Star Wars, Carrie Fisher's movies have been pretty lousy (Under The Rainbow, The BluesBrothers, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back). To be fair, most of it wasn't Carrie's fault since finding a good screenplay in Hollywood is harder than finding a honest man. It doesn't help that movie actresses are embedded with a deadly virus that turns them into dust once they turn 30.

So Carrie decided to do something else.

These days, Carrie is appearing in Wishful Drinking, an one-woman show based on her memoirs. Fittingly enough, Carrie's sly, poignant, and witty performance about the bizarre soap opera that is her life is proof that Carrie isn't another showbiz casualty but a very gifted actress whose talent is often overshadowed by the bizarre soap opera that is her life. Wishful Drinking is a triumphant celebration and it's not surprising that it's selling out across the country.

Personally, I'd like to see Carrie stay on the Broadway stage for a while. Other than the creative freedom the theater would give her, I think it's a vehicle that best suits her talent. She'd be a great Martha in Who's Afraid for Virginia Wolf, for example.

Carrie Fisher isn't a loser, burnout or has-been, and she's never going to be on "Celebrity Rehab" hosted by the fraud Dr. Drew. Not only did Carrie conquer her demons, she smacked them in the face with a shaving cream pie. Bloodthirsty voyeurs expecting Carrie to jump off an imaginary ledge need to let it go. Princess Leia's days of Sex 'n' Drugs 'n' Rock & Roll are over. Carrie Fisher's life has just begun.