The Five Love Languages: Acts of Service

The Five Love Languages, as outlined by Gary Chapman, are five different ways by which humans express their love and devotion to others. The important thing about these five love languages is that these individual humans also feel and attribute love and devotion by these methods. For example, if someone has Acts of Service as their primary love language, then they both give and recognize love through performing acts of service and helpfulness and usefulness to the other person.

Acts of Service. Acts of Service is a love language that does not deal with the spoken words, but primarily with actions. Tasks such as auto oil replacement, house cleaning, home and clothing repair, helpfulness, going to work, and working overtime are all attributes of this love language.

How to Recognize It. If your spouse or family member actively finds solutions to problems for you, repairs and fixes malfunctioning machinery for you, and enjoys working long hard hours on your behalf, then their primary love language may be Acts of Service. Never disparage them, critique them, or put them down in any way, regarding this language. They will be more likely to take it personally and as rejection than if you expressed dissatisfaction in a love language which they do not recognize.

How to Employ It. The crucial part of this step is to understand how powerfully your partner is motivated by this language if it is how they primarily express love to you. They may not recognize nor appreciate your expressions of love if you employ a different language. They will only recognize Acts of Service as coming from your heart, so it is important to use this step on a regular basis. Perform little services, little helpful acts, and begin thinking of ways in which you can do home or work projects together. Remember, if you complain about all the work you put into your job, your homekeeping and the services you do for them, they will firmly believe that you do not love them or that you find loving them dissatisfactory.

Acts of Service is an important expression of love with which you may need to become creative. Try different and new things, and ask your partner for their feedback on your actions.