The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

I remember thinking that if one more person suggested a self-help or relationship-oriented book to me, I was going to have to seriously consider punching them in the nose!

Lucky for the mother of my last boyfriend, she didn't suggest The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, by Gary Chapman, to me -- she just happened to leave it at my house during one of her visits; and lucky for me that she did.

I have no doubts that this book is the fairest to both men and women regarding relationships and how to enjoy a healthy, happy, and lasting one.

I remember reading the title and wondering what the subtle (or not) message was that she was trying to send me, by leaving this book for me to find. I asked her about it in a phone conversation and she laughed and replied, "Oh, I was hoping my son would read it someday!" There was no better way to pique my interest, and so I began to read.

Gary Chapman managed to write a book that is easily readable and applicable to every human who has ever loved or wanted to be loved - who knew it could be done?!

Other books by other authors, suggesting opposing genders -- and, even jokingly, differing planetary origins -- seem to make a habit of stereotyping men and women, thereby creating a divide between them. As many readers of this genre will tell you, there's nothing quite so depressing as reading about how different you are from your partner as doing so when you're trying to find new ways to feel closer to them.

So why am I impressed with Chapman's book, if -- as I just explained -- it was a gift from my last boyfriend's mother? It isn't because Chapman's book created a world of difference between us. Instead, Chapman's book showed us how to identify what we wanted to feel, and how we wanted to feel it with each other. I can think of no better way to give a good review to a relationship-related book, than to still be willing and anxious to recommend it, even after the relationship is over.

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a well-written book, as Chapman's method of delivering his ideas results in his readers' recognition of each of the five love languages at play in their lives. Chapman enables his readers to learn, accept, and apply his philosophy regarding the five love languages to their relationships, immediately -- and see the positive result of that action.

You might be wondering, "If you read the book and it was easy to understand his concepts and apply them to your relationship, why is it that you're not still with your boyfriend?"

A fair question, and the answer in my case is simple: I told my boyfriend what I needed in order to feel loved by him, and he didn't want to make the effort -- and I didn't feel like staying in a one-sided relationship (remind me to review He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
by Greg Behrendt sometime soon).

What will you learn, by reading Chapman's book? You will learn that you need to have an excellent idea of who you really are and what you really want--and what makes you feel the most loved. You'll ask yourself some questions, too. Is your relationship still in the infatuation stage? Is what you're feeling really Love? What is Love, anyway?

Chapman suggests that Love is a choice that we make every day with our partners. The choice to love our partners includes the choice to love them in the way that they need and want to be loved, affirming that Love is a gift which we give and receive in our relationships, and that gift is best received in the languages that we speak or understand.

Surely now you want to know, "What are the five love languages?" I suppose you should read Gary Chapman's book and find out for yourself! You won't regret it or the effect that reading it has upon your life. Now if I could just put my love languages on a relationship resume, and find the perfect partnership to join . . . I'm sure it would pay off!