The Five Love Languages: Quality Time

There are Five Primary Love Languages as defined by Gary Chapman in his book, and it is a good idea to learn all of them. Love languages are methods by which individuals naturally express love and affection for each other. Different people will have different primary love languages, which can cause potential problems. If you and your partner each express love for each other with two different love languages, neither one of you may be feeling love, because you are not receiving it in a language with which you are familiar.

Quality Time. Quality Time is one of the primary five love languages, and it involves meaningful conversation and life experiences. Quality Time is given and received through sitting down, maybe drinking some coffee, and engaging in long, detailed, intimate conversations. Not everyone has this attribute as their primary love language, and so it is important to be tolerant of the fact that your partner may express him or herself through a different language.

How to Recognize It. If your spouse or family member continually tries to engage you in deep or intimate conversation, then they may have Quality Time as their primary love language. Quality Time expresses itself in the form of interesting, attentive, personal interaction, primarily through the spoken word. Finding out more about each other is a close bonding experience and people who value Quality Time tend to be more interested in intellectual philosophy, interesting and personal stories about you, and your history or past experiences.

How to Employ It. If your family member or partner is a Quality Timer, then you must learn to speak their love language as soon as possible. This is not only the sole method which they use to communicate their love toward you, but they also only use this method to receive and recognize/acknowledge love. Make yourself comfortable, perhaps over a hot meal, a tasty dessert, or just a cup of coffee, and relate experiences about yourself. Tell personal stories, anecdotes from your life, listen attentively to your partner and laugh a lot. Be interesting and interested. Avoid doing these steps when you are tired, hungry or cranky.

Quality Time is expressed through meaningful conversation, so it is important for you to avoid complaining about it or showing disgust or contempt for it. Your loved one may feel rejected if you show an aversion to the only method through which they communicate their affection for you.