The Five Major Relationships According to Confucius

Relationships are a central theme to Confucianism. Confucius believed that society played the biggest part in the role of relationships. He felt that all people are inherently good but people become bad because of bad examples in society. Confucius felt that in order to clean up the individual the government needed to make just laws to impact family and society in a positive way.

Confucius wrote about five specific relationships. He said that if you get these relationships in order everything else will work out just fine. The first relationship that Confucius described is emperor to subject. The emperor should use Te, power in the appropriate way. If the emperor is benevolent, compassionate, and practices what he preaches his subjects will be loyal.

The second relationship Confucius wrote about is the father and son relationship. A father should be a Jun zi or superior man. A Father should set a good example for his son. A son will put away his own ideas and opinions and be obedient to the father so that he can someday be a good head of house. This is the most important of the five relationships.

The third relationship that Confucius describes is the husband to wife relationship. The husband should be virtuous so that his wife will obey him. If both husband and wife follow this example they will have a harmonious marriage. This is similar to Ephesians chapter 5 in the Christian Bible that discusses the duties of the husband and the wife. The husband is to be head of the household and the wife is to be obedient to him in love.

The fourth relationship that Confucius talks about is elder to younger brother. They elder brother should treat the younger brother with deference. The older brother should protect the younger brother. The elder brother has already gone through changes, and should have empathy for the younger brother as he goes through these changes. They younger brother should follow Hsaoi, to respect and obey the older brother has he has more wisdom than the he.

The final relationship described by Confucius is the friend to friend relationship. Everyone should follow Ren. To live by Ren means that people must treat others in the way that you want to be treated. To live by Ren you people must reciprocate with compassion. This is the Golden Rule.

Confucius felt that if one had the five relationships in order then everything else would work out. He felt that it is through "interpersonal that man is humanized and Dao is manifested." (196) If the political leaders have just laws and are good rulers the subjects will be good people as well through the good example of the rulers. If the father and son, and husband and wife follow Confucius' words the family will be a happy and loving family. If one follows all of these guidelines they can know that they are living a just and positive life.