The Five Mistakes Britney Spears Made Post-Break Up

Ah, poor Britney Spears. Once the reigning queen of pop music, she's now a train wreck, as seen at the recent MTV Video Music Awards, where her lackluster performance and flabby physique caused many to speculate that she'd reached the end of her career. Although she was displaying some less-than-glamorous qualities and behaviors during her marriage to back-up dancer Kevin Federline, her downward spiral truly began after their split in 2006. Although her public blunders seemed extreme to most, Britney was actually making common mistakes that most women make after a break-up that all of us can learn from.

Drinking to Numb the Pain

After the divorce from Kevin, Britney almost instantaneously began going out partying on a nightly basis. Often accompanied by famed party girl Paris Hilton, Britney was spotted going in and out of countless Los Angeles hot spots, usually intoxicated and disheveled.

After a split, most women crave the companionship of their girlfriends in an attempt to replace the companionship of their significant other that they have lost. For the most part, this is healthy, and being alone whilst in such a vulnerable and hurt state can be damaging. However, instead of crashing on the couch with ice cream and chick flicks, more and more young women are going to night clubs and getting sloppy drunk to ease their pain. Not only is this unhealthy mentally, but it's incredibly physically damaging. Alcohol will inevitably fail to fix the problem, and could lead to a serious drinking problem (Britney ended up in rehab). If you are going to go out to a bar or club with the girls post break-up, focus on the discussion rather than the drinking, and make sure to keep your cocktails to a minimum. You're vulnerable, and your decision making skills could be hindered because of this.

Changing Your Diet and Exercise Habits

At one time, if you looked up "perfect abs" in the dictionary, you'd most likely see a photo of Britney Spears. She was the perfect weight role model for her young female fans; unlike her waif peers, she encouraged a toned, healthy, and athletic figure. An avid dancer since she was in diapers, Britney's rocking physique came not from starvation, but from an all around healthy lifestyle. After her divorce, however, Britney allegedly binged on fast food to quell her sadness. It showed, and her once million dollar figure had become flabby and out of shape.

Plenty of women gain weight after a break-up. Women have a tendency to be emotional eaters more so than men, and a lot of ladies turn to sugary and deep friend delicacies to make themselves feel better. Although, some women also go the other route and starve themselves, losing too much weight in too little time and for the wrong reasons. Don't go either of these routes after your relationship ends. Try to maintain the same diet you had when you were still together, and if those habits weren't healthy, improve on them gradually. Don't crash diet, but rather begin drinking more water, consuming more produce and lean meats, and adding more fiber rich vegetables and whole grains. And of course, beginning or maintaining an exercise program will do nothing but good. It will raise your endorphins, give you a healthy figure, and make you feel better about yourself for the right reasons.

Altering Your Appearance to Rid Yourself of Him

When Britney Spears shaved her head and got a new tattoo all on the same misguided night in LA, she was displaying not only severe impulsiveness and irresponsibility, but a clear desire to shed who she was and become something new. Her fans were stunned; while it may have seemed to her like a dramatic and effective step towards healing at the time, it came across as a pathetic cry for help.

Much like going on a doomed crash diet, many women have the urge to do something drastic with their hair or obtain a tattoo or piercing after a split. Remember: you are hurt and not thinking clearly. He most likely is not getting a buzz cut to "get back at you", and probably wouldn't care too much if you got an impromptu bleach job or nose ring. You will most likely regret it, as well, which will result in you feeling nothing but worse than you did before the change.

On the flip side, sometimes a mini make-over can be just what the doctor ordered. New high lights or first-time side swept bangs could improve your self-esteem. The best way to go about this is to flip through a magazine and pick a photo of the hairstyle you would like, cut it out, and tape it up somewhere you will see it frequently. Now, don't book any salon appointments (or consider even looking at boxed dye) for a week. Allow yourself plenty of time to re-visit the photo until you are 100% sure that the style is for you. When a hair change wasn't done on impulse, there is very little chance of regret afterwards.

Neglecting Your Professional Life

After the split, Britney Spears didn't spend so much as a minute at a recording studio. While she did make some performances and appearances (such as her House of Blues concert, which received a lot of negative reviews), most of her time was spent blowing her fortune and club hopping.

There are a lot of reasons why women neglect their professional lives after break-ups. First, women are very much creatures of habits. Women tend to group their significant other, friends, job, and hobbies into one big "life bubble", while men tend to acknowledge these people and things as different entities. Thus, when a relationship falls apart, a woman may see it as losing a piece of a machine, and behave as if the machine will fail to function without that one part. Their outlook may become, "I can't go to work because I won't be able to text him on my lunch hour like usual and that will be too hard."

Remember, he's lost the regularity of you as a couple as well, but he does not perceive it as having anything to do with his job or other avenues of interest. You must look at the loss of the relationship just as a man would; you've lost him and only him. That pain and heartache is completely separate from your other obligations. Of course depression factors into this as well, and you may simply be too bummed to get out of bed in the mornings. Although it may be one of the hardest things to do during this difficult time, remaining professional and punctual at work or school will not only ensure job and financial security, but will serve as an excellent distraction. Re-runs of Oprah on the couch while your conscience is nagging that you ought to be at work will not.

Becoming a Serial Dater

Britney began dating nearly immediately after the split, nearly one man after another, and none lasting for too long. Alleged temporary boyfriends included model Isaac Cohen, her assistant Perry Taylor, guitarist Jason Filyaw, and most recently, magician Criss Angel.

Serial dating right away post-split is perhaps the biggest mistake a woman can make. What you and your newly ex-significant other had together took a long time to build and work towards. You will not, I repeat, will not be able to get that back right away with a new man. Furthermore, you're lonely and could be inclined to choose men that you wouldn't normally date because you're desperate for male companionship. Above all else, you must remember that it's not the simple having of a man that you miss, but the man himself. You need to take time to bury what he and you had together for your own mental health. Besides, the next man you begin a relationship with could be a really great keeper, and you want to give him the best version of you - not the version of you that is sad, desperate, and still stuck on someone else. So take your time, not only for your sake, but for the sake of your future partners.

Hopefully these five post-split lessons as taught to us by Britney Spears will help you if you are struggling with a break-up yourself. Remember, it took a long time to have the relationship, and it could take a long time to move on from it. Above all else, the golden rule is to be good and do good for yourself.

As for Britney? She's hopefully a trooper, and let's all keep our fingers crossed that she gets her act together, gives us some great new music, and re-emerge as the pop goddess we all love and miss. If not for her fans, then at least to show that rat Kevin Federline who's boss.