The Five Most Interesting Passover Customs

I'm not here to discuss the reasons we celebrate Passover - you have Wikipedia for that. I'm here to talk about some of the customs that we Jewish people do and my take on them.

(1) Matzo, matzo, matzo. We do not eat bread on Passover (or anything else made of wheat, barley, rye, oat, or spelt - except for matzo), so we end up eating lotsa matzo (sorry - had to throw in that groaner). For those of you unfamiliar, matzo is a cracker made of flour and water and nothing else. I love it, but some people can't stand the stuff. It's also known to constipate, so I recommend eating either whole wheat or spelt matzo if you're having such an issue. And as soon as Passover ends, you've got to see the lines at the pizzeria. One year I was waiting on line when a non-Jew entered just to order a slice. He had no idea what was going on. He must have thought we're a bunch of loons.

(2) Afikoman. This is part of the Seder, or ritual meal, where the kids take a piece of matzo from the leader and hide it. To get it back, they bargain for toys. "I'll give it back to you if you promise me a new bike." (Why the leader doesn't just take another matzo from the box is beyond me, but this whole process is part of the fun.) Lots of fun if you're a kid, not as much fun when you're the leader.

(3) Marror. These are the bitter herbs we eat to remind us that we were enslaved in Egypt and it was a bitter time back then. Generally one grinds horseradish root and man that stuff burns. FYI, that green stuff you put on your sushi called wasabi? It's horseradish with some food coloring. Now picture eating wasabi without the sushi. Exactly. When your face matches the color of wasabi, you know you've done a good job.

(4) Family trips. Because Passover is technically eight days, we do not just sit home the whole time (unless they happen to be showing the Nanny marathon, but that doesn't happen often enough). On the third day, many parents take off from work and take the kids to an amusement park, a zoo, or a museum. If you live near New York, you cannot go to any attraction without seeing throngs of Jewish families. It is quite a scene.

(5) Four cups of wine. During the aforementioned Seder (of which there are two), we are required to drink four cups of wine. These commemorate different things that are beyond the scope of this article, but suffice to say, by the end of the third cup of so, I'm a bit woozy. And my father - he actually laughs at my jokes, so that's when you know the wine's gotten to his head. For me, it's the only time the entire year that I consume alcoholic beverages, so by the time I'm through I'm practically flying to my bed. And then I conk out right away. Gotta love it.

Is it any wonder that Passover is my favorite of all Jewish holidays?