The Five Roles of Marriage Partners

In his book, Decoding Love (Hay House UK Ltd, 2009), Andrew Trees writes about the expectations that culture, society and people place on a marriage. He explains that in past decades, marriage was based on a number of factors and love was only one of these.

An array of economic, religious and societal forces helped to buttress the marriage from the outside. Today, many of these exert less influence and marriage partners support each other from inside their marriage.

Best Friends in Marriage

Best friends love to chat, play together, have fun and go exploring. They enjoy a good cup of coffee and a lovely sunset together as much as a day at an amusement park. In spite of the differences between male and female, husbands and wives can and should be each other's best friends. In earlier years, the husband was normally the dominant member of the marriage and friendship was not a high priority. In today's world, married couples thrive on cultivating a close friendship with each other.

Next of Kin

Andrew Trees points out that by marrying someone, that person becomes the legal next of kin. It is a relationship stronger than blood-ties to parents and siblings and can be an overwhelming concept. Next of kin gives the power to make decisions for partners when they are sick, unconscious or otherwise incapacitated. Although not a pleasant subject, couples should discuss what each desires in the way of life support, resuscitation and organ donation in case the situation ever arises.

Sexual Partners in Marriage

Sex on tap is a benefit of marriage. If the couple are faithful to each other, it can bring a new level of freedom and enjoyment. Although sex is coupled with intimacy, many people do not realize that talking is often more personal. The combination of sex and sharing innermost thoughts can create a special unique bond between husband and wife.

Managing Marital Finances

When people marry they are normally used to handling their own finances. Now they have a partner to consider. They need to work out details such as whether to share a check account and how to work to a monthly budget. It is important to allow husband and wife some personal spending money, even if the budget is tight.

Parents in Marriage

The majority of married couples will eventually become parents. This is a whole new learning curve as they seek to fulfill new roles and cope with a demanding infant. It is often a difficult time with many adjustments needed. However, with family and friends supporting them, most make it through and adapt to their new roles with joy.

Marriage is a unique relationship that is continually growing and changing between a man and a woman. If spouses are aware of the different roles they play, they can work on the weaknesses and enjoy the strengths. Hard times come to every marriage but with understanding and perseverance, couples can deepen their relationship and learn to love each other even more.