The Five Stages of Failing as a Writer
First a little background. I am known as the grammar police at work. Many coworkers have given me college papers to proofread. I am a very technical writer and I've had to retrain my writing style to make it sound more user-friendly.
So there I was, fat, dumb, and happy while I was cleaning out my bag at work. I found a copy of a short story that I was making corrections on the week before and was ready to toss it in the trash when one of my coworkers saw the 21 pages paper-clipped together and asked me what I was proofreading. I laughed and told her that it was actually a fiction story entry for a contest.
Her first question was: Did you write it? The little girl in me lied. I said my sister wrote it and she wanted me proofread it for her. (Sorry Pam, please forgive me. Pam is also an AC contributor, so go ahead and check her out). My coworker then asked if she could read it. "Sure," I said. That was my first mistake.
I met up with her about an hour later and asked her what she thought of the story. That was my second mistake. She said "That's fifteen minutes of my life I'll never get back. That is absolutely the worst thing I've ever read! Tell your sister she better keep her day job." (Sorry again, Pam. Seriously go check her out, she only has 5 articles up so she better get to writing, c'mon Pamela).
Now, I'm very grateful for her honesty and if I hadn't sacrificed my sister then I may never have gotten such an honest critique of my writing. From those three sentences I have learned that not everyone is cut out to be a writer, and I have accepted that by letting everyone know that it's okay to accept failure in your writing.
Here are the stages of failure for a writer.
Stage 1: Denial
She doesn't know what she's talking about. Of course I can write. I have over 150 articles published online. So some of them have horrendous page views, so what? By the way, thank you all for reading all those pregnancy articles. I know they can be painful.
Stage 2: Anger
She probably has never read book in her entire life. What does she know? Of course, I can write. Fiction can't be that hard.
Stage 3: Bargaining
OK, maybe I need to polish up on my fiction writing. If I look into an online class maybe I can be good enough to enter next month. Oh, I know, if AC gives me fifty cents more for my next article, then I will know that I can write.
Stage 4: Depression
I know this sounds silly, but I was actually crying in my bathroom the next day because of this. I do all my crying in the bathroom. It's the only place that kids won't bug me for two whole, consecutive minutes. I felt better after a little sniffle, then I looked at my daily page views and cried some more.
Stage 5: Acceptance
Yes, I have accepted the fact that I have no clue about writing fiction, or about web writing for that matter. Acceptance is not a bad thing. It can be a motivator. I know that it will motivate me NOT to enter anymore fiction contests until I know what the heck I'm doing.
I also know that this article will get a total of 12 page views because no one will be searching for failure in writing through the abyss we so loving know as Google.
I also realized that it's okay to fail at something, even if it is a complete and miserable failure of my sister.
Published by Kim Keason - Featured Contributor in Lifestyle
Full time mom, part time nurse, and part time freelance writer. View profile
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34 Comments
Post a CommentSee, I'm not the writer,LOL. "You are an excellent writer". I mispelled hahahah. obviously I can't spell....LOL
You soooooooo can write. I are an excellent writer. I truly enjoy reading your work. Please let me have my pleaure and keep writing, i'm right there beside you reading your work... :o)
So your co-worker dashed your dreams and trashed Pam's (wink, wink) story. Not everyone who reads your writing will fully appreciate it or get it and that doesn't make it bad writing. Fiction is really nothing more than a huge made up lie. LOL. Well, I guess it's a little more than just that. Anyway, I love your sense of humor and thought you did a pretty darn good job of writing your account of what happen. That's a story right there and I liked it. BTY-I think you made your 12 pv. Don't give up, just keep slushing along through the puddles with the rest of us. You have plenty of company and I'm happy to walk by your side as a fellow writer. I don't know about those pregnacy articles, though. :-)
Nicely Written :)
Been there and done that far too often I'm afraid. But I remain hopeful.
This is just excellent. I totally hear ya. I figure that I can spot a good fiction novel, yet I can't write one - what gives? I've embraced my lack of creativity and turned instead to writing crap, I mean content, for AC.
LOL - was reading what every one else wrote before commenting (27 prior to me) got to Randy's and thought he was going to say his dog ate his homework certainly didn't expect to see 'his dog wrote his articles :) Just have 1 question: this co-worker that 'dumped' on 'Pam's' story - what are HER writing credentials? Guessing none so who is she? Just one person's opinion. Now personally I enjoy your writing and I'm one that wrote for 30 years and not one single person ever read what I wrote (except for letters or emails). I write because I love to write, yes would love to write a best selling novel but guess what probably won't ever do it but will continue to write and as long as your writing where I can read it will continue to read your writing!
Your co-worker is the one who should be crying. She has no taste!
Clearly, you can write well. There is no doubt about that. As for that person's opinion of your story, ignore it. It could be that she simply didn't like the genre, or didn't understand it, or maybe she's just a jerk (or all of the above.) Forget her and keep writing. F. Scott Fitzgerald wallpapered an entire room with rejection letters before he got The Great Gatsby published. Don't give up!
1. You worry about being tagged "the grammar police"
2. You decide to quit after one bad face-to-face review
I am not a successful writer, but I read about them, and none of them actually started writing because they wanted to please everybody else. A writer writes out of a personal need. What'd you do with your issue of rejection? You wrote about it. You are a writer... not by training, not by design, but by nature. You are a writer.
Please, please, please! If there is a God in heaven, please don't stop being a grammar Nazi. Our forces are few, and dwindling. Don't make an editor work overtime just so you can be popular with the "cool kids".
Don't take the opinions of even a handful of people as an indication of your general competence. Write for you! Write what you want to read. I promise you, as alone as you may sometimes feel, there are bus loads full of people with whom your stories will resonate. Those people are your audience. They probably do not work with you, and will onl