The Force: I'm Not the Super Mom You're Looking For

FIRST PERSON | "My wife went away for a week and I'll tell you what, that certainly showed me how much she really does," my associate said during a business dinner last week. He went on to explain that she is an amazing lady who cares for their children, keeps their house clean, and manages to keep up with her full time job. I am not one of those working moms.

I was in my sweet spot while we were discussing technology trends and five-year strategies. It was when the conversation turned to small talk about the little ladies that I longed to use The Force; there is not a woman at the table, you are among all men. It didn't matter though. I stayed quiet and got the occasional nod and smile, which I assume was to congratulate me on their perception that I was a super mom.

The truth is my husband could wipe the floor with their little ladies any day of the week. He is an amazing chef, a fantastic dad, he doesn't need to be nagged to clean the house, and he works a full time job. He takes our son to and from school, stays home with him when he is sick, and not only attends but records all of the school functions so that I can watch them later.

My husband is a manly man, and believe it or not I still love the color pink. I admit, I was a little jealous that my husband was the one who stayed home with our son for his first year of life. He would be the first to admit that he was a little jealous that I got to go to work that first year. Certainly neither of us grew up dreaming that one day we would shake up social norms and gender roles in Middle America.

Having just turned 29 for the second, or maybe third time, I am in a good position to have another child if the fates decide. A huge difference between my fellow high-tech colleagues and me is that if they decide to have a baby, no one would think twice about it. If I were to hint at wanting another child it might make people question if I was the right person to assign to a high stakes, long-term project. For this reason I keep my mouth shut when the subject comes up, no matter how pregnant the pause after the inevitable question, "Oh, you only have one?"

Sometimes I feel bad that I am not a super mom. It is tempting to compare myself to women I admire who hold high positions at work and still manage to volunteer at the school, cook meals from scratch, and always make it home with plenty of time for bedtime duty. There was a time when I tried to be that mom, but I failed. That life was just not possible for me but fortunately I have a super dad for a husband.