The Fortunate Womp Rat, Chapter One

Tales of the Fortunate Womp Rat

These entries have been included in the Womp Rat's log for the sake of completeness, and so I don't have to carry around two data crystals. Monsula'Tarkona, Prince of Ryloth.

I was almost assassinated tonight. Again. Of course, I was here, studying. It was my cousin Con they shot at. Con looks enough like me that father paid to have him surgically altered to match me. He goes out drinking and dancing, and making my public appearances. Last night, someone fed him bree'vit disguised as Toallal mushrooms. They say he will live.

I am tired of this. First, I am living like a prisoner. Second, Con is there, "living the high life" as a prime heir, and he has been shot at twice, come close to being poisoned three times, and almost beheaded while racing swoops. I still say that last one an assassination attempt. Probably for me. Maybe for one of the other riders.

Anyway, today father brings in a new "servant", Duul. He is exactly the same shade of blue as Con and I, and our general build. He watches me like a dance master watching apprentices, or maybe like an apprentice paying attention to the master. I am positive he is training to be Con's replacement.

This is intolerable! Con is a decent individual. I like him, and the thought of him being assassinated is unbearable. Also, the fact that the slaves have more freedom to move than I do is wearing me down. Something has got to change.

Hour 890. There is more than one way to skin a Hutt...but what you would do with the hide is beyond me. I was reviewing the house books when I noticed something...Con is out living the life of a prime heir and spending money at a noticeable clip. Not that he's making me look like a lush, but he is making me popular. He spent over 800 tributes last year on partying. That's eight thousand republic sectaries. And it is listed from my account.

Well, Con is a security double, and that makes him fall under the heading of House Defenses. So I have requisitioned all my money. Do you know I spent less than 380 truguts last year? Most of that was on books.

I intend to use the money to make some changes...House Tarkona is of course investigating, but let's face it, the most likely candidates to have me killed are my cousins. They want to become the prime heir. The house is less motivated to do something about them. Well, I am.

I have hired a questioner, a dancer named Faleel. She has an impeccable reputation for always fulfilling a contract. I have arranged for her to join the house as my "companion", something I am sure father will appreciate, my sexuality already being under suspicion. I have instructed Faleel to discover who was behind each of the assassination attempts on me, and to kill anyone who was involved in two or more. I may just kill them all. In the meantime, I think I will be happier and safer away from Ryloth. I have arranged to be kidnapped, along with Con. By this time next week, we should be on Tatooine.

Hour 1073. Tatooine. What a hole! But I smell opportunity here. Con is just happy to be away from being target practice for cut rate assassins. I don't think he believes me about smelling opportunity. He says it is most likely Ronta Poodu. He could be right.

Still, I found us quarters. They are small, and cramped, but they have steel doors set in steel frames, and an escape tunnel, probably dug by thieves trying to get in when this building was a mansion. I don't think we will be here long.

So tomoro....is that the right word? Next Brightside that comes along, we are going wandering, and seeing where the credits are pooling.

Hour 10081 Well, we lived through the night. It was kind of a near thing. We shot something I don't know the name for. It looked a little like a Klatooine...anyway she tried to rob us, and we ended up 12 truguts richer and with a nice blaster. Con is wearing it. I am sticking to my holdout piece.

We are going on our wander. I bought parasols to keep the sun off us, and we are on the move. Con is trying to find a toilet he can stand to enter (and this raises a problem for me, because I know I am more squeamish than him) so I am catching this up. Most money here is tied up with the Hutts. They don't tend to want to let go of it, but I am betting we can find something. I am starting to get that feeling, a kind of a heaviness in the lekku and a vague sexual excitement that has nothing to do with the men of Tatooine....I think that strange Ithorian might have something to do with it. He was nearby both times I had the feeling the strongest....

Here's Con.

Hour 1084 The Ithorian is part of it. It seems he is looking into disappearances. A nice lady was more than happy to tell me all he asked her for a few wampi. He seems a bit naïve, because he is looking into missing people, but has not thought to ask slavers to see their wares. I think I will do a little asking around, and maybe I can sell him some information.

Hour 1086 Well, I have something to sell the Ithorian, if I can find him. There is a ship in port. The Captain is a Rodian. He has a few Trandosian heavies and a Bothan and a Ceraian. They did not bring any cargo. They are not taking any cargo. They are loading up with a lot more water than I would buy on this arid rock, so there are more than the Seven of them drinking on that ship. That says to me, slaver.

Now, if I can just work an angle to make some money.

Hour 1087 Both suns have moved out of the sky...that is so weird looking. It is Darklands now. We are going to a bar and looking for the Hammerhead. This will be my first actually trip as me and Con's too. He is going to teach me how to act in a low dive.

Hour 1089 Well, I bet Con has better respect for my hunches now. I brokered a deal with the Ithorian, Maway. He is paying us 80 Dectaries to gather information that might lead him to the missing people. I understand it is mostly human children with red hair. I informed the alien that they were most likely going to be sold to some sort of pedophile. He was shocked. But of the five people missing, four are redheaded kids, and the last is a Vaporator repair man. There is always a market for skilled slaves.

So we agreed to meet again when it is Brightlands again. I told Con I though the Hammerhead might be a Jedi. Con thought I was stupid. But as we were going home, we were set on by some thugs. And Maway stepped in swinging a lightsaber. So yay me. Tomorrow (See, learning already) we meet up and I give him the information.

Hour 1097. Well, we made it through the night. I found a Jawa with a protocol droid who gave me some insight into the workings of the local spaceport, so I was able to arrive with a suitable gift. The human is not happy with his lot in life, but can't get enough money together to get off world. So I bought a box of Gallodin eggs, and a mirror cooker. With the sun on this planet, this should pose no problems. He likes little luxuries, this should improve his mood.

And it did. He was happy to give me all the information I wanted on the Rodian, Barsoom Maloomba. It seems his next port of call will be Nal Hutta, which says to me, off loading slaves.

Well, while he was fiddling with the mirror cooker (those things are tasty, by the way) I scanned a vid of the ship lay out and crew compliment. I was right; seven people do not need that much water.

So then we went and found our probable Jedi. Get this! He wants to hire us to help him get on that ship! He is either a Jedi, or crazy. Maybe both.

So now I, Monsula'Tarkona, in my efforts to have a safer and more interesting life, am preparing to break into a slave ship.