The Foundation of a Good Marriage

The most important part of any marriage is a good basic foundation. Without this foundation the relationship is on shaky ground. In order to have a healthy marriage, constant nurturing must be given to the relationship on a daily basis. Once a partner feels that they've been taken for granted the marriage is in jeopardy.

Relationships are like tiny flowers. When they're young a constant watchful eye must be kept on them nurturing its survival. The early years of any marriage is always the most crucial. Time must be spent obtaining trust and respect of your partner. Once a level of trust and respect has been obtained the marriage is starting to take roots.

The basics

In order to keep any marriage healthy and strong both partners must be able to put their egos aside. No longer are you living by yourself; you're now living in a two-fold lifestyle. Living with someone else is not exactly easy, especially if you plan on spending the rest of your life with them.

Patience is an emotion needed in order for a marriage to survive. Hundreds of situations every day test the marriage at a moments notice, without time for thought. Tempers can flare and things can be said to one another that will be remembered for a lifetime. A little patience goes along way, and in some cases can save a marriage from collapse. Remember, no one is perfect.

Gratitude is another emotion that's also needed for a good marriage. Spouses are not slaves to be used at a moments notice, they're our partners in life. If your spouse does something for you let them know that it's appreciated. It's nice to feel appreciated for something that you've done.

The legwork

I've heard it been said that marriage is a fifty-fifty street, and I disagree. A strong marriage is when both partners put 100% into making their spouses happy. If "both" partners do this the marriage is sure to last. Treat your spouse better than you expect to be treated, and your marriage will blossom into a beautiful flower.

Everyone has an opinion so learn to respect your spouse's ideas. Although sometimes you may not agree with them, let them speak their opinion and listen to them. Learn to accept that situations can change at almost any time. Strive for patience, and keep a calm mind when situations begin to get overheated.

Learn to discuss situations in an adult manner. Some of the worst arguments can be started by the smallest trivial things; don't go overboard! If a matter comes up without any clear cut decision, give it a little time and try not to be hasty. Always try to resolve your disagreements before they get out of hand. Don't let your emotions and thoughts build up inside of you until you explode; release them.

Tuning in

In a strong marriage you must be able to read your partner's moods like a book. After 25yrs of marriage I can tell by the first glance of the day at my wife's face (and her body movements) how the day will go. Sometimes just a little emotional support is all that is needed to help your mate feel special again.

Communication is one of the most important parts of a strong marriage. Without communication your thoughts and feelings are being stored away in the busy warehouse of the mind. Everyone needs someone to talk with to vent their frustrations, and who better to talk with than someone you love.

But be prepared, once this line of communication is opened almost any subject is fair game. This is where trust and respect are increased (in your partner) by being a good listener. Try to put yourself in your spouse's shoes so you can see exactly what emotions they're dealing with.

Acceptance

Every married partner must be able to adapt to change. Life is all about change, and marriage is filled with many periods of change such as: children, grandchildren, mood swings, depression, and by no means the least of all menopause. Once you've reached this stage you can almost endure anything.

As you enter into the twilight years of your marriage you look silently at your partner and smile and they smile back. Now you're communicating without talking at all. You wind up finishing each other sentences and you smile as your partner interjects exactly just what you were going to say.

As you begin to turn old and grey you look at your mate and realize everything that you've both learned. You now see what both of you have put into the marriage by the way your children have matured and grown. So, you just sit back and smile as you watch the grandchildren grow like weeds in a summer garden.