The Freelance Income Fantasy

There are several sites on the internet offering freelancers an opportunity to contribute articles in exchange for a few pennies generated over time by the number of visitors that will see the article and by the number of clicks on the Google advertised products or services.

More or less the sites are very similar; the more you contribute, the higher your score and the better your chances at making money. What money?!

If anybody is making money, that is the site itself and specially Google since they charge people to advertise products and services; for every click, whether or not will result in an actual transaction, the business that placed an add is being charged by Google, so dear Google has nothing to lose.

As for the freelancers I very much doubt anyone's life style has dramatically changed or considerably improved since writing for any of those sites.

Reading different forums, from different sites, I have to admit that it is astonishing what people are willing to do for less than the minimum wage usually paid by an unqualified job.

The only sensible conclusion is that most people, including myself is doing this for fun and out of a desire to share general information, specific knowledge or personal feelings and experiences. If that is the case, great; I don't have a problem with that and I actually believe is healthy to keep your mind focused on creative endeavors or to share useful information with the world's community.

Most of the sites do not promise big money and none of them advise contributors to give up a regular job; however some paid contributors (part of the staff) are putting out the word of their substantial income, encouraging the other writer to work harder, because "the sky is the limit".

Sure nobody is putting a gun to anybody's head, but I still found this ridiculous.

Helium is a perfect example; they want you to write as much as possible to specific titles (preferably empty titles) or to existing titles in specific categories (some qualify for upfront payment, some do not). If you have something specific in mind you can suggest a title and Helium will either approve it or ask you to review it and make it more to their "standards" (meaning more people will be attracted by the title and will contribute to it).

The upfront payments are based on the number of stars one has which is determined by their writing score. The writing score is based on the judgment of the Helium readers (many of them totally unqualified and almost all of them interested only on making the quota for rating stars which ensures residual payments).

Again, since nobody holds a gun to your head to stay in the game is a take it or leave it proposition. The only thing that is annoying is the persistency of the "elite group" of Helium gurus that will insist about the real possibility of making a living (not supplementing a living, mind you).

Because of it, I wrote the following article and posted to the title proposed by one of the staff members "Tips for making a living as a Helium writer"

Here is the article:

Making a living writing for Helium? "Yes we can"!

It will take a miracle and the gracious help of the Helium's Fairy, but it can be done. Here are some helpful tips:

Move to Bangladesh, Tanzania or other exotic place where $300 may be just about enough to get by.

Be willing to write 25 hours a day, including Christmas and stretch your day by an additional 2 hours for rating articles that you actually read and evaluated in good conscience.

Should you ever go to sleep, make sure to include in your prayer the need for revelation of valuable and effective key words.

Get a dozen of elves that will do the factual research for you and will also look for empty titles so you may qualify for upfront payments. Promise to share your earnings and ask them to come up with new topics so you may qualify for other upfront payments.

Don't hesitate to lower your standards and never ever be embarrassed to write your name to a mediocre article. Your chances to build your name on the internet are limited at best, so don't agonize over it.

It is imperative to remember that quantity beats quality every time, so get busy, write all you can and make it fast.

It is exceedingly important that your articles are short. Anything over the magic 400 minimum limit will work against you.

Be considerate! The ones rating your articles are already exhausted and overworked by trying to keep up with their rating stars so they can get the $3 bonus.

Remember your articles will be judged by members with average expertise, so do not get too technical and don't confuse them with too many facts. Stay on the surface and use all the platitudes you can come up with.

Master an ex-cathedra attitude and write about everything under the sun.

Get smart: if you have more than enough material for an article, do not waste it; write more articles with the remaining information and even use some of the material already published after changing a few word and the format.

For good measure consider getting in both sides of the same debate; since nothing is either pitch-dark or pure white, with some imagination you can make the grey area sparkle and, more importantly, you will be covering all bases.

Develop a vivid imagination and start improvising; specific knowledge is not required to get stars, so keep your eyes on the price and worry about nothing else.

Make sure you go with popular believes (no matter how inaccurate), so the other Helium "experts" (abounding in folkloristic knowledge) will rate your article high.

Do not waste time and energy reading your article over, but make sure the format is great and in line with Helium standards. Whenever in doubt start a new paragraph and see your stars rising.

Keep in mind that since creative writing will not help you earn stars and will not make you any money, it is better to use your time more productively and forget about honorific badges.

Winning writing contest is also about quantity rather than quality, so make sure you write on every topic, whether you know the subject or not. Your odds are in the numbers, so do the math.

Don't worry about loosing your family and friends; you are better off without them. You will always have Helium and plenty of bright stars to lighten up the darkness of solitude and the everlasting peace of emptiness.

Make sure your typing skills are matching the speed of light even when your fingers are bleeding.

Lastly, don't take yourself too seriously and, more importantly, don't lose your prospective in the fun Helium was supposed to be in the first place.

P.S. I never intended to demolish your earning fantasy; all I wanted was to get my 50 cents for writing to an empty title.

After writing this article I got plenty of congratulatory messages from other writers, but obviously I "mortally" wounded the Helium Fairy so my stars disappeared for a time, my score went down and few articles have been deleted as "off topic".