The Friendly Internet: Finding Past Friends Using the Internet

On the pathway of life we leave thousands of obstacles along the way and most are the result of friendships. We are born to relate with others; our first relation with our mother is paramount followed by the father and other family members. Other relations start with friends. Some friends last a lifetime, most do not. As we get older our instinct drives us toward a permanent mate. Often these bonds become disjointed as tolerance perseverance and commitment required for success battle with temptation, promiscuity or infidelity. Of course there are variations to the foe, but you get my drift.

There are cracks, potholes, repairs and general erosion along my pathway but overall it's holding up. OK some potholes will swallow a bus, what can I say and yes some cracks look like fault lines with added after shocks but hey I fall into the category of normal. Well as normal as the guy next door who by the way I have no relationship with!

Until a few years ago the task of getting in touch with former friends was tedious with hardly any results. Then along came the web and the Internet highway became the roadway to ones pathway. Suddenly it became easy to find past friends, relatives and create family trees with roots that can go as deep as finding who married cousin Bertha in the early 18^th century. I gathered a few websites that looked good and with their help I took a stroll into my past with some success.

Many friendships are born in school and sometimes end in a relationship. I think everyone knows a couple that are childhood or high school sweethearts. I didn't have a childhood sweetheart; unless you count an infatuation I had with Judi Dench. Hey we were all young once! So I found a website were I added my name to the schools I attended and sat back and waited. In a few days about six people came back and said they remembered me. I vaguely remembered them. They sent e mails with brief BIOS and a request I do the same. So I did and agreed that we would keep in touch. I never heard from them again.

I then found a real good friend; a great pal who shared the sixties and seventies with me. We were inseparable at the time and we hadn't been in touch for almost thirty years. Our emails were fun to read and create and we agreed I should call him up. (If I remember he was a little tight, but it was only a phone call.) The call was dreadful. I just couldn't shut him up. While he wanted to talk of all his achievements I just wanted to chat about old times and gradually work up to my current status. He went on about travels to distant places, the houses, the cars, the golf club, early retirement and the notion that life has been just one huge positive experience. We ended by saying we should meet. Since then no more e mails or calls so nothing is arranged. However I still have the memories and I can stroll back any time I want too without a road block of self gratification and maybe some envy on my part getting in the way. As Samuel Butler said, "Friendship is like money, easier made than kept."

There are many - find friends - websites out there so research is necessary. Beware of potential scams and sites that lure you in and then charge hidden fees and so forth. Eventually I found success when I was contacted by a very special friend. We left each other on the bitterest of terms but thirty years on we are cordial and I think we both find solace with our e mails. A lot happened in the ensuing years and emails make for the perfect vehicle to maneuver me back along my pathway; for the time being anyway.

"Life's like a road that you travel on
When there's one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind...
Life is a Highway..." [1]

[1] Life is a Highway: From the movie Cars, Walt Disney Pictures 2006. Words and music by Tom Cochrane