The Funny Thing About Fatherhood, Review of 'Sh*t My Dad Says'

I needed something to read while I was sitting in Barnes & Noble's Starbucks, and the title of this book caught my attention. I browsed through a page or two and two hours later, I had other coffee patrons wondering why in the world I was leaning to my side laughing so hard. One Starbucks cashier came over to tell me he had the same reaction reading Justin Halpern's "Sh*t My Dad Says."

For those of you who have a father, grandfather, godfather or some man in your life who is adorable with his cranky attitude, this book may remind you of him. But some of the stuff Sam Halpern has to say is so hilarious it's hard to be mad at him, even when you're sure his advice is offensive.

Twenty-nine-year-old Justin Halpern grew up a rather nerdy looking child who had a growth spurt, making him even more awkward. He didn't have the charisma of his father when it came to the ladies. His brothers constantly called him "fag" and accused him of being gay, but his father was having none of that. The only person who was going to make fun of Sam Halpern's son was Sam Halpern himself. Everybody else better step to the side, especially strangers, baseball coaches and math teachers. We know Reverend Run (aka Run of Run DMC) has his Words of Wisdom, but I like Sam Halpern's advice better. Here are a few examples:

"You worry too much. Eat some bacon...What? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better. I just made too much bacon."

"What the f*ck are you doing on the floor writhing around? I'm not sure what break dancing is, but I sincerely hope it's not what you're doing."

And even when he was the one doing something weird, you weren't going to catch him saying he was wrong.

"Snausages? I've been eating dog treats? Why the f*ck would you put them on the counter where the rest of the food is? F*ck it, they're delicious. I will not be ashamed by this."

"Sh*t My Dad Says" is full of these hilarious quotes from Justin's 74-year-old father. I don't know why I never expected someone who works in science to be such a smart alec and crack so many jokes, but if I had to work in the science department of any company, it'd be with him. And I wouldn't climb under empty seats like a monkey the way the author did in one particularly funny anecdote.

This publication just released on May 4, 2010 and is just in time for Father's Day. What's great about this read is not only the comedy, but anyone can relate to it, whether you always wanted a father like this in your life, you have a male role model in your life who is like Sam Halpern or you just want a good time laughing at someone like him. This is good stuff. The only downside of the book was the last few chapters were out of order. Sam went from an awkward sixth grader to a grown man then suddenly went back to a little kid. The last chapter was a little too serious for the rest of the book, but I understand why his father wanted it that way. However, I thought his father had a lot of heart before that last chapter anyway. He just had a (literally) funny way of showing it.

I can't recall ever reading a book as funny as this one. This book gets 5 out of 5 stars without a doubt.

And even though his father said he'd have his gun out for a reporter who came at him asking questions about this book, if I ever met Sam Halpern, I'd take my chances.