The Gift Of Gab is Overrated - We Talk Too Much

The gift of gab is overrated. The importance of what is said does not depend on the number of words used to say it. Putting unnecessary words into a statement does not clarify the meaning of the statement. Sometimes it adds a bit of flavor, but extra seasoning is not always good.

A few examples of extra words follow, complete with definitions in plain English.

Right at the present moment: Now

The reason why is because: It's because

It's due to the fact that: It's because

Were you aware of the fact that:Did you know

I was completely unaware of that: I didn't know that.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out: This is simple.

Birds and animals: Animals. (Ask any science teacher. Birds are not plants.)

A nominal fee: Big bucks

A brief moment: A moment

In the event that: If

A substantial amount: A lot

We will be glad to share that information with you when it becomes available to us: We haven't a clue.

There is much work that remains to be done: We're not finished.

We cannot give you any guarantee that that will occur: No.

This might be a little bit uncomfortable: This will hurt like hell.

Not too big of a problem: Not a big problem

Fat free no cholesterol low calorie: Tasteless

Shouted loudly: Shouted. (Whispers are not always quiet, but shouts are always loud.)

Completely and totally: Completely. Or totally. They mean the same damn thing.

Would you be so kind as to: Will you please. (Okay, this one can come in handy if you are asking someone to do something you really don't want to do. "Would you be so kind as to clean up the cat vomit?" might not be a bad idea.)

I will have to check into that and get back with you: I haven't the foggiest.

6:00 a.m. in the morning: 6:00 a.m.

6:00 p.m. in the evening: 6:00 p.m.

Where it's at: Where it is. (This one baffles a lot of people, maybe because putting the extra word on the end doesn't add any extra words. It still doesn't belong.)

Estimated amount of time to assemble this piece of furniture is three hours: This will take all night.

Final destination: Destination. (Thank you, George Carlin.)

This list could go on indefinitely, but that would defeat its purpose.