The Gift of Patience

In 2008, I wrote an article on Associated Content(AC) called "The Patience Game" and what a difference three years can make because my understanding of the value of patience is stronger than ever before. The articles use of metaphors in relation to my affinity for basketball summarized my competitive spirit and my initial thought process of patience as an adversary. At the time I just began my writing career on-line and had several experiences in rejection with constant reminders that being the best at what you do requires perseverance. Not only am I now more willing to embrace patience but I have also learned fighting against it does not speed up anything but having a feeling of frustration when things slowly change. Patience is required in almost everything from relationships, career pursuits and not surprisingly any metamorphosis of personal relevance in regards to spiritual or emotional growth.

The secret of relationship building is working beyond differences of opinion and personality clashes. I often live by the mantra the less conflict you have the better off relationships can be. I am right and wrong in that constant conflict is not good but the absence of disagreements can lead to a false sense of security in a relationship that could be standing on shaky ground. This discomfort often leads to the quick and safe response of fleeing to hide from reality which simply means moving on without seeking a positive resolution. I by no means believe that you should fight to maintain an unhealthy relationship, however I wonder if some of my own relationships have ended because I have given up too soon. The bible says "Love is patient" and provides examples of people accepting someone in spite of unpleasant flaws that are often met by others with impatience and harsh judgment. Over time in the bible, this patience brings forth a powerful transformation of human spirit and a beautiful example of maturing in unconditional love. I know I can't change the fate of all of my past relationships but I do recognize where I could have been more patient and a more active listener. Relationships good or bad are hard work especially when it comes to accepting the idiosyncrasies of someone else. Overall, there is no doubt in my mind that having more patience is more rewarding than trying to predict an outcome of a circumstance outside of human control.

My ambitions as a writer have been quite the motivator for me in terms of coming up with my vision board each year. Each year I come up with short and long term goals and I cut out pictures and words that are visual reminders of my aspirations. I paste all these pictures and words of all my professional and personal goals on a poster board and put it someplace so I can look at it often. I remember when I completed my manuscript for my first published book. I was delighted for it was an exercise in patience with the editing process and a reminder of my ongoing battle with perfection. However, it was something to celebrate because it was one of the biggest desired accomplishments on my first vision board. In 2005, I started working on a fiction novel but did not complete it due to losing interest in it. Then in 2007 I started the "Conversations with my Father Series" here on AC which would become my published nonfiction book in December 2009. I say all of this to say I learned patience trying to find my writing voice by continuing to think outside of the box and explore the mental facets of myself beyond my own tendency to be perfect. As a creative person and an engineer I continuously battle with two sides of myself, the person who wants to freely explore life and the other person who simply thinks in a black and white methodical manner. Overall, I find balance in embracing patience because this is the only way my creativity can continue to flourish.

Life is a series of roller coaster events that can take someone up and down in a gambit of emotional and spiritual experiences. Somewhere along the way I have had things said to me that I thought went in one ear and out of the other. However, as time and circumstances arise I see the past haunting my present life which could potentially damage my future if I continue to allow it. The past feelings of rejection, setbacks or comments on my personal appearance have snuck back into my consciousness making a current situation seem like déjà vu. The painful words someone says don't define who I am but sometimes I can still hear the voice of this unconstructive criticism vividly. For a long time, I would never admit these things but as Author Terrie Williams in Black Pain says, "I have had to learn to sit with my pain." Pain is something many people shy away from facing thinking it will miraculously disappear. Truthfully, if you don't take a seat with or next to your pain and acknowledge it exists it will follow you into every aspect of life. I take a deep breath and exhale as I release these words onto my keyboard because I no longer want to hide from my own insecurities. It is important to share this with others because washing away fear and self doubt involves becoming transparent and living without the pressure of worrying about what someone thinks about me. Patience is a fruit of spirit that is an extraordinary virtue that has become second nature to me especially when the person I see in the mirror struggles to love the reflection it sees. There is nothing I have found more rewarding than saying, "Patience be with me as I travel the uncertain roads that lead to many detours in my life." Overall, I see patience as a comforter of peace inside of me when time moves slowly around me.