The Glory of the Hamburger

In previous posts I established my devotion to unhealthy foods, whether it is sodium filled hot dogs or pizza or fried chicken. But my favorite of all such foods is the all-American hamburger. I am not the only one enamored by the hamburger. Julius Cesar reportedly said:

Tribuo mihi a hamburger quod EGO mos victum Gaul. Tribuo mihi duos hambergers quod EGO mos victum orbis terrarium," which I think means, "Give me a hamburger and I will conquer Gaul. Give me two hamburgers and I will conquer the world.

Burgers come in two general styles. There are, first, fast food burgers from the likes of McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's and their brethren. These have often been frozen, are usually grilled and, perhaps, micro waved until any presence of juice or redness has been dried or colored a nasty gray, respectively. They are made palatable by the addition of multiple toppings, tomatoes, catsup, onions, lettuce and for the more exotic, mushrooms and a ubiquitous brown goop-sauce. Please do not misinterpret; I have never met a hamburger with which I failed to fall in love.

These thin offerings are sometimes served in a fast food restaurant a step or two above the Mickey D's (as Steak 'n Shake) but they still depend on wet and juicy toppings. It is rare, a poor choice of words, perhaps, to be able to enjoy one of these without lots of stuff.

An exception, there was - and is in a few places in the country, the Ollieburger that was originally offered at Luim's, a now defunct chain that we used to enjoy in Miami. The Ollieburger, of - as my relatives might say - blessed memory, was a spicy dream that need nothing except a cold accompanying beer. There are, if one searches Google, sites that purport to describe recipes for the seasonings on an Ollie; maybe so, but I prefer to believe the Ollie rests somewhere in my memory like a first kiss, ever.

There are a few "fast food" restaurants that are not part of a national chain, and those are often good and unique. When one bites into a "Goody, Goody burger from Tampa or one from El Cap in St. Petersburg the burger has sufficient sauce or greasy stuff running down the arm to ensure flavor.

While I will not refuse any burger, I prefer mine "Pittsburgh Style": charred on the outside and very, very rare, nearly raw, in the center. Most restaurants will not serve a burger that way, apparently having little confidence in the healthiness of the product. This involves the "other" burger, thicker, juicier and requiring a thicker burger patty; such a treat is available at several chains, Outback, Ruby Tuesday's, for example, where the establishment knows the meaning of rare. A perfect rare hamburger needs, in my opinion, a hearty slice of a very tasty tomato, preferably from New Jersey and not from Florida, and a thick slice of Vandalia onion. But more about regional preferences in a while.

In New England, where I grew up, the burger could be commonly topped with sautéed green peppers and onions, and a dash of salt and pepper. Nothing more. It is in a number of states a serious felony to add catsup to a hamburger by anyone over the age of five. Just as in the case of hot dogs, hamburger toppings seem to have localized appeal.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/236613/how_to_dress_a_dog_regional_preferences.html?cat=22amburgers

While a teen, I would drive to Salisbury or Hampton Beach (Massachusetts and New Hampshire, respectively). There on the boardwalks were peppers and onions, cooked all day on a well-seasoned (coated with grease and old food) and then piled on a burger. Lord that was good.

Lately, when cooking hamburgers as home, on a grill, certainly, I am inclined to form the eight ounce patty-to-be into a sphere. Then with a finger, create a cavity in the meat and insert blue or Roquefort cheese. The cheese is then covered and the meat shaped in a patty shape. When cooked, the cheese melts, and the taste is enough to make a grown man weep with joy.

There used to be well defined regional differences in hamburger toppings; as Americans travel and move more often and as national chains spring up, we are becoming more homogenized. Generally, "standard" toppings are lettuce, tomato, onions, cheese slices. Often additional condiments may be served on the side, as mayonnaise, catsup and mustard. I have seen or heard pf hamburgers served in some venues with bacon, avocado, guacamole, chili, and even ham, anchovies and tartar sauce, for goodness sake.

There are regional preferences, it seems. As I have noted, I grew up in a region that wanted green peppers and sautéed onions. In the mid-west, especially in and about Wisconsin, folks rfequest a "butter burger" with a pat of butter on top; in the Carolina, on the other hand, often serves a hamburger with chili, cheese, onion and coleslaw. In Hawaii, hamburgers are often served with teriyaki sauce and pineapple.

The world is getting smaller and McDonald's is getting bigger. The Mickey D/Burger King hamburger and fries are becoming the standard.

I don't care. I've never has a hamburger that wasn't a treat.