The Godfather's Revenge was an Offer I Should Have Refused
Written by Mark Winegardner
When I was at my local grocery store, your new novel "The Godfather's Revenge" caught my eye. I grabbed it from the rack and was immediately hooked by the prologue, so I swiped my ATM card at the counter, and my bank account was debited $9.99 plus tax.
The prologue was brilliantly and artfully written, but the rest of your book sucked a big fat lollypop the size of my cousin Vinny's boil under his armpit--what you offered I could have and should have refused. Your 610 page book could have easily been condensed to around 200 pages. The plot would have moved faster and I would not have taken so many naps between chapters. You see, Mr. Winegardner, it is like this:
When I read a gangster novel, I want lots of action and suspense. I want to read about someone getting hit or rubbed out. I don't want to read about Tom Hayden's wife's art collection. Capiche? If I want to read about art, I'll read the "The Big Book of Art." OK...OK...I'll admit I would just look at the nudie paintings, but you get the point, right?
You included one extremely long, nauseating chapter that provided a detailed description of the sights and sounds of a fictitious World's Fair. Who cares?! You've seen one cotton candy machine-- you've seen them all. Please get a life, Mr. Winegardner. I would rather read about someone making an attempt on Michael Corleone's life at the world fair, or something equally exciting.
Hey! I'm dead serious! I am not going to untie you from that chair until you understand!
You also waste precious time and space by giving the reader long-winded character descriptions of minor characters that add little or nothing to the plot.
To put it simply, Mr. Winegardner, your book lacks a hook. For that reason, it deserves the hook. Now, before I cut you loose, I am going to make you an offer you can't refuse:
Before you write another gangster novel, read the "Valachi Papers" for inspiration--or I promise you I will never ever read any more of your "Big Books of Art"!
OK, boys, I think he understands. Cut him loose.
Published by GMJ
Top selling author at amazon.com. View profile
IMDB's Top 250 Films: A Short History of the GodfatherThe Godfather is one of the most popular films of all time sitting at number one on IMDB's user ranked top 250 list. Here's a short history of the film and its stars and what's...
The IMDB Top 100 - #3 The Godfather IIThe third film on IMDB's top 100 films and the greatest sequel of all time, The Godfather II. 
The AFI Top 100 - #3 The GodfatherThe Godfather as the third greatest film of all time according to the AFI. One hell of a film. - The Godfather: The Game - Become the Top Don!This is a review of The Godfather: The Game. You play as a small time thug working his way up to become the Don.
The Godfather: Dons Edition for PS3The Godfather Dons Edition
- The Politics of Blood: A Thematic Comparison of the Films the Godfather and Elizabeth
- The Godfather PS2: Game Cheats and Codes
- Revenge of the Sith: Deep, Dark and Freudian
- The Lincoln Continental: A Famous Prop from The Godfather
- The Godfather: Trivia You May Not Have Heard Before
- The Godfather Part III … The Lame Duck of the Trilogy?
- Judy's Book: Reviews or Deals Site?
15 Comments
Post a CommentMy god, I'd hate to see how you would have responded if I had disagreed with you. You need to take some adirol or something. What a jerk. In my haste to respond to your inane comments, I agree, I did misspell "fictitious", congratulations, you put me down for a misspelled word, what a hero you are. When I or any other reasonable organism in the world reads the following, "You included one extremely long, nauseating chapter that provided a detailed description of the sights and sounds of a fictitious World's Fair." only an idiot would conclude you were talking only about fictitious characters. However, since you are an idiot, what else could we expect? If you can't write clearly then shut the hell up. From now on keep your mentally impaired opinions to yourself instead of clogging up the cyberspace with your crap.
MacTulsa, how are things at epinyawns? I see you still have not learned to read or spell--no doubt epinyawns will make you a TR. I never indicated that the 1964 World's Fair was "ficticious(sic)." Did you meet Michael Corleone at the 1964 World's Fair? Regardless of your response, the Fair I referred to was a fiction, since it contained fictitious characters. You do know the difference between fact and fiction, right?
I agree with all of your comments WP, but I have one question....... Why would you think the 1964 New York Worlds Fair was ficticious? If it was, I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do regarding the several pictures my family took that summer in Flushing Meadows in front of the Unisphere.
Or in my case, the heads down. Thanks for reading.
Thanks for the "head up"
Thanks for reading, Elias.
I like your style on this one, lol. Nice pan.
Yes, wbva3fan, Caretaker nice, but he tells me visiting hours are over and you must go back to your cell.
You nice man. Make nice review. Caretaker say he like you. This is nice. Caretaler want sing Neil Diamond song to you. Caretaker have tatoo of you on buttocks. Tattoo is nice. I think I come to AC and write reviews. AC nice place. This is good. Gustevson make many new friends at AC. This would be nice. Maybe Gustevson can be number one writer here. This is good. Gustevson could teach you and others here to write better. This is meant nice. Everyone like way Gustevson and caretaker write. Many like to look at caretakers buttocks. Caretaker like this.
Just saved you $9.95 plus tax. LOL!