The Golden Garbage Can Awards -25 of the Worst or Most Overrated Movies Ever Made

To qualify a movie must have a strong showing in at least one of these categories:

TToo stupid for words
RRidiculous waste of money
AActors who should be ashamed of being in the movie
SShame on me for watching this human degradation
HHow did this movie ever fool the critics?

"Too stupid for words" qualifies movies where either the plot is unbelievable, the actions and reactions of the characters making no sense or just plain bad acting. Examples of this are guns that never run out of bullets, little kids who become professional ball players or presidential advisors, or people finding one another walking in a blizzard, one from New York City and the other from Philadelphia.

"Ridiculous waste of money" is pretty self-explanatory. Disney's The Alamo lost an estimated $114,000,000. Think about the magnitude of that number! If you and your spouse make a combined income of $75,000 a year, it would take 152 years of work to equal the money this bomb of a movie lost. The value of 353- $300,000 homes doesn't quite equal that loss. How do you even spend that much money, let alone lose it?

"Actors who should be ashamed," qualifies bad films with noted actors. Academy Award Winners and nominees seem to be willing to sell their credibility for a paycheck in participating in some of the worst movies ever made.

"Shame on me for watching this degradation," applies to movies who try to make a buck using such subjects as rampant violence, rape, slavery, sadism or would be pornography all while trying to pass themselves off as something better than they are.

"How did this movie fool the critics?" Some movies, terrible as the are, get the blessing or at least a pass from major critics or award organizations. Snobbery? Product of an incestuous industry? Artsy, fartsy? Who knows the reason for failing to call a pig a pig?

Who doesn't qualify for this list?

Sequels, by their very nature, are usually less than the original, and therefore excluded from consideration. (Yes, I know about the Godfather II, however for every one of those there are a dozen Jaws III).

Also ineligible are movies that are obviously made to be "dumb," "funny," or "intended for kids." Animal House and National Lampoon's Vacation are examples of silly movies that work! However, no matter how "dumb" a movie seems to want to be, there are still lines of taste that shouldn't be crossed. No one expected Police Academy to be Citizen Cain. It is a slapstick-juvenal humor comedy and pretends to be nothing more. Although not really very good, it is harmless and unpretentious. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians appears on almost critics "worst movie" lists. The question that needs to be asked of those who put it there is "what about the title, didn't you understand?" When a movie is expected to be ridiculous, how can you fault it for being true?

How the list is presented

The worst/most overrated 25 movies will not be presented in a "countdown" fashion. It's hard to rate garbage. Instead each of the movies will be listed by the TRASH category where the movie makes the loudest statement.

Defining Moment

As we sort out the trash, we'll also take a look at the moment of the film that either defines how bad this movie really is or first indicates, "Oh, oh, I wasted my money on this one!"

T- Too Stupid for Words

1999The Wild Wild West
If you thought the TV series was dumb, welcome to dumber. Let's see, there's the repeated "character is wearing a perfect, skin forming mask and looks like a dead ringer for someone else," a spider-like mechanical structure that is the size of a town and walks through the desert, constant boob jokes, two villains- both crippled (now that's funny!) endless "Black men do it better" jokes and the marketing departments apparent favorite, neck sized collars (spools) that are placed around Will Smith and Kevin Kline's necks.

By the end of this movie most people contemplated putting something different around Producer's neck.

Defining Moment- Although everything after the trailers before this movie was bad, the scene where villain Ted Levine has goo coming out of the trumpet he has attached as a replacement for a missing ear is the point of no return for any salvation of this mutt.

Other considerations- R- ridiculous waste of money. This movie cost an estimated, gulp, $170,000,000 to make and probably lost in the range of $50,000,000 before the foreign market was fooled into watching this bomb. No wonder they call us the ugly Americans!

A- actors who should be ashamed of having anything to do with this film. Kenneth Branaugh (in perhaps the worst casting since Joan Crawford in Troll) brings these credentials to the table: 3 time Oscar Nominee, 3 time Emmy Nominee and 2 time Golden Globe winner. Will Smith has been the recipient of 1 Oscar Nomination as well as 3 Golden Globe Nominations. In addition to winning an Oscar, Kevin Kline is also a 5 time Golden Globe Nominee. An argument can be made giving Smith and Kline a "pass" on being connected with this film do their history of off-beat or comedy roles. But Kenneth Branaugh of Shakespeare fame?

1997 Anaconda
Deadly creatures have appeared in excellent films. Jaws, for example, is one of the better action/adventure movies ever made. Anaconda certainly isn't Jaws. Shortly after the lights go down we a have giant snake that somehow seems to leap out of the water and up the mast of a boat (using special effects that look like they are the work of a sixth grade science class project) on a personal mission to get the man inside the cabin of the boat! Nothing worse than a snake with a personal grudge.

Defining Moment- Perhaps the dumbest scene ever presented on the big screen comes when Academy Award Winner, Jon Voight, gets swallowed hole by the dreaded snake. A bit later, and I am not kidding, the critter vomits up Voight- who is still alive.

Other considerations- A- actors who should be ashamed of having anything to do with this film. In addition to Voight's well-earned Oscar for Coming Home, he also has three other Oscar Nominations (one of which he clearly should have won for Midnight Cowboy), 2 Emmy Nominations and 5 Golden Nominations for which he won once. And with a resume like this he now a reptile regurgitates him?

1984 Red Dawn
At the time of this movie's release, Ronald Reagan was President and affectionately referred to the Soviet Union as, "the evil empire."

Red Dawn's premise was interesting; the United States goes to war with Soviets who use the Cubans to do the groundwork. The invasion comes from Mexico up through the Rocky Mountains. Good old (or in this movie young) Americans become the freedom fighters.

So much for the good intentions. In this movie a group of high school boys runs to the mountains after the Cubans parachute into Colorado. Along the way, for no obvious reason, a wise old rancher gives them two teenage girls to take with them. (What teenage boy wouldn't love to have two teenage girls with him in the mountains?). Make sense? Then as the kids live at timberline in Colorado, they survive without losing weight, getting long or facial hair and best of all become a crack team of freedom fighters. "WOLVERINES!" they yell as they continually beat the inept Cuban and Russian armies. Of course, mysteriously they have access various types of camouflage clothing (regular clothing, brown/green camouflage outfits and for winter, white suits) as well as multiple high tech weapons that never run out of ammunition. Even more impressive is their ability to walk, at will, in and out of town even though they are the invader's public enemy number #1. In fact the heartless Ruskies even execute civilians because of the actions of the Wolverines.

Defining Moment- Worse than any of these obvious non-sense is the acting itself. When Harry Dean Stanton tells his boys "AVENGE ME," as he yells through the fence at the "re-education camp" aka the local drive in theater, you just have to know "it ain't gonna get any better."

Other considerations- A- actors who should be ashamed of having anything to do with this film. Oscar and Golden Globe winner, Ben Johnson gives the script his best shot. He should have shot the writer. Perhaps he had a much bigger part with which to deal, Powers Boothe isn't able to give a credible performance falling in to the trap most good actors find when working with junk.

1989 Roadhouse
Let's see…Evil Ben Gazarra owns a town where the recreation consists of fighting in a Roadhouse Bar every night. Patrick Swayze, the world's best bouncer, is brought in to restore order. This movie is terrible. Fights happen continuously in the bar, yet all the broken tables, etc. seem fine in the next scene. Chicken wire is set up around the band to keep the crowd from making contact when they throw things. Chicken wire? Cleaver dialogue highlights the viewing; "Nobody wins in a fight," "Get ready to die." Swayze rents a room above a barn that is still a sexy bachelor pad. Ever smell a barn? Well, at least it doesn't smell as bad as this movie.

Defining Moment- Early on we learn that Patrick Swayze, in addition to his bar bouncing prowess, has a Ph D in philosophy and drives a Mercedes convertible…yeah, right!

Other considerations- S shame on me for watching this degradation. This movie shows nothing but disrespect for women, never misses a chance to promote gay bashing and of course, the singer of the band who is so badly treated…is blind.

1995 Showgirls
Showgirls could qualify for a number of categories in this piece.
However the "Too Stupid,' category seems to be the best fit. We have the meteoric rise in fame of a Nomi, a no-body to the top of the dancing charts in Las Vegas. (What the hell are the dancing charts anyway?) This movie is either the worst porno flick ever made or one of the trashiest non-porn movies of all time. The intent of the plot is- innocent girl sells her soul in quest of success, however once found, has a moral awakening and walks away. The "dog eat dog," "rip-off" nature of Las Vegas is intended as to be viewed as the nature of the beast that Nomi first admires. Unfortunately, the movie itself is a "rip-off" making this film hypocritical as well as just plain bad. (Actually, saying Showgirls is "bad" is like saying the ocean is "wet." It just isn't a powerful enough adjective).

Elizabeth Berkeley as Nomi delivers one of the most horrible performances of any actress in a leading role in the history of Hollywood. Let's see, she can't act, she can't dance and she plays a showgirl. Thank goodness for nudity, that's her ticket to the top. Along the way we are treated to cat-fighting, senseless violence, lesbianism and lots and lots of breast and butt shots.

Defining Moment- Upon arriving via hitchhiking to Las Vegas, Nomi finds her ride has stolen her few possessions. Fortunately, out of nowhere a kind and gently seamstress appears to take her in.

Other considerations- R- ridiculous waste of money. This movie cost an estimated $45,000,000 to make and generated about half that much in ticket sales.

R- Ridiculous Waste of Money

1980 Heaven's Gate
In 1978, young director Michael Cimino won both an Academy Award and Golden Globe for The Deer Hunter. This 3 hour 2 minute movie also won that year's Oscar for Best Picture. The Deer Hunter cost an estimated $15,000,000 to make and grossed around $50,000,000 in the U.S. market.

Thrilled with Cimino's artistic success, United Artists agreed to the production of Heaven's Gate, written and to be directed by Cimino. What United Artists wanted was a picture under 3 hours in length, on time, on budget. What they got was a movie so far off of budget it ultimately led to the financial ruin of the company, an original 5 hour film and all much, much later than promised. An estimated total of $44,000,000 was spent on this beast while worldwide box office was less than 5,000,000. Even after cutting it to 3 hours and 40 minutes, the film was pulled days after its' release.

Defining Moment- One of the most amazing things about this meandering, confusing, and most of all boring waste of money is the filming technique employed by Cimino. Some type of filter gives the movie a constant hazy and dreary look. Undoubtedly this will be the most expensive Brown & White movie ever made. It will probably be both the first and last.

How badly did the critical reviews and money losses affect United Artists? The film was such a financial disaster that UA (the production studios that brought us great films raging from Rebecca in 1940 to One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Next in 1975) couldn't withstand the loses and ended up selling the company to MGM.

1995 Waterworld
In an attempt to make Mad Max on water, $175,000,000 was spent on the floating debris known as Waterworld. Eventually after punishing the rest of the world with this movie and spreading this fish poop into video, the move did make money. However, $175,000,000? Wow! That's a lot of tuna fish!

The polar caps have melted and what remaining people do exist on earth, have no earth and travel the seas in hope of one day finding land. Costner as Mariner evolves in this life to the point where he begins to developed webbed feet.

Defining Moment- Cosner, as Mariner, resorts to drinking his own urine as source of fresh (?) water.

Other considerations- A- actors who should be ashamed of having anything to do with this film. Neither Dennis Hopper nor Kevin Costner should have touched this whale. However, when talented actor/directors such at these two continue to make such horrible films, you have to ask, "are these good actors making bad films or
bad actors that have lucked into a few good films?"

1987 Ishtar
Despite the horrible lesson the movie industry learned, uh, should have learned from Heaven's Gate in 1980, along comes Ishtar. When a movie is so bad that its' name becomes an synonym for wasting money on a dog, "Hudson Hawke is another Ishtar," you've got problems. "The Road To" movies staring Bing Crosby and Bob Hope weren't much of an artistic contribution but they look like Casablanca up against Ishtar. $40,000,000 was spent on this bomb with less than $15,000,000 coming back through U.S. box office revenues.

What is so bad about Ishtar? Well for starters we have a comedy that is absolutely not funny. Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman try so hard to deliver the terrible script you feel embarrassed for them. And as an added bonus, THEY SING!

Defining Moment- The first song. YUK!

Other considerations- A actors who should be ashamed of having anything to do with this film. Dustin Hoffmann has been nominated for 7 Oscars, winning 2 of them, 1 Daytime Emmy nomination, 2 Emmys, winning 1 and a whopping 12 Golden Globes winning half of them. Warren Beatty also in no stranger to gold statuettes. His portfolio includes 1 win from 7 Oscar Nominations and the Irving G. Thalberg Award and 3 Golden Globes from 9 nominations. Never has so much talent been part of such a waste of time and money.

1997 The Postman
Better names for the Postman would be Junk Mail or Return to Sender. This 2 hour 57 minute monster seems MUCH LONGER!
A mere $80,000,000 was spent to make this "epic."(?). Financially, this hound will be lucky to recover 1/3 of its' financial investment.

Kevin Costner tries a third time to make Dances With Wolves. Dances was a beautiful, successful movie. Next he did the financial and artistic flop, Waterworld and finally (we hope finally) The Postman. Costner stars in each of these movies as well as directing Dances and the Postman. Each movie centers on a loner (who always looks constipated) in the vast empty wilderness. Neither money nor time seems to be of an object to this trilogy with each movie being at least an hour too long. Wolves works, Waterworld made this list of "worst movies," and the Postman is even worse.

Defining Moment- The first (the first of far too many) endless solo shot of Costner brooding.

Other considerations- T- too stupid for words. The premise of Junk Mail is that the post-apocalyptic survivors of the good old USA could all come together in freedom and happiness if they just got their mail! Huh? (Imagine our future in the hands of Newman!)

Other considerations- A- actors who should be ashamed of having anything to do with this film. Kevin Costner makes himself seem narcissistic, untalented as an actor and just plain dumb as a director.

1998 The Waterboy
The only critics who liked The Waterboy are the only critics that count- those who pay to see the movie. The money wasted on this movie actually came from the audience. This absolute insult of a movie cost an estimated $23,000,000 (what on earth for?) but brought in $163,000,000 at the U.S. Box Office and nearly another $60,000,000 in video rentals. This movie appears on the list for exact opposite as the others. The shame is that this pooch made money- lots and lots of money.

What makes this movie so bad? Start with Adam Sandler. Sandler portrays a college football "waterboy" who is abused by all the big, bad jocks. To Sandler even more pathetic, he talks with this goofy voice that is a cross between a speech impediment, a Louisiana accent and a bad actor trying to throw his voice. In a fit of anger, the maligned Sandler finally breaks and in the course of his tirade proves what a great football player he would make. Later, of course, he becomes the star of a team.

Defining Moment- Kathy Bates (more on her soon) badly acts as Sandler's mother in the film. In one scene she grills baby alligators for the cookout.

Other considerations- T- too stupid for words. Take your pick of scenes or plot lines. A- actors who should be ashamed of having anything to do with this film. Kathy Bates should be forced to return her Oscar for Misery as penance for the misery of her performance in this one!

A- Actors who should be ashamed of having anything to do with this film.
Of course any actor in any of the films in this 25 Worst List could be listed under this category. However, here are the most egregious appearances by actors with proven credentials.

1996 The Island of Doctor Moreau
From his Oscar winning roles in On the Waterfront and The Godfather to playing the piano with a mutant midget, is just how far the late, great, and very over-weight, Marlon Brando fell in playing the title role in this disgrace of a movie. Val Kilmer, an odd duck anyway, but who is capable of a great performance, seems to intentionally act as badly as possible. And Director John Frankenheimer? How did the man who directed Andersonville, The Bird Man of Alcatraz and Seven Days in May stoop so low?

In a time where we are debating stem cell research and cloning, this H.G. Wells classic could have been poignant and thought provoking. The issues of science vs. ethics and the good and evil within all of us are futile ground for an excellent movie. That's about as far away from an excellent movie as one can possibly get!

Defining Moment- Actor David Thewlis as Edward Douglas says as he discusses radioing for help from the island, "What are you going to say "Mayday! Mayday! I'm being held by a pig lady?"

Other considerations- S- shame on me for watching this human degradation. Movies featuring the deformities of others walk a fine line. This film did nothing but exploit these decorates. Shame on anyone connected with this abomination.

2000 Battlefield Earth
Recipient of 2 Best Actor Oscar Nominations and 6 Golden Globe Nominations, winning twice, John Travolta participates in what many critics have called, "the worst movie ever made." Forest Whittaker, Emmy Winner and Golden Globe Nominee who appeared in such fine films as The Crying Game, Bird and Platoon plays a lackey to Travolta in this disaster.

Travolta plays a security chief with walker as his abused assistant for a society known as the Psychios. How appropriate! Dressed like those who get denied access to the sewer for failing to meet the dress code, having hoses run from their nostrils (how appealing!) and being intelligent enough to master the universe but not simple hygiene or dentistry, they mumble and stumble in their attempt to enslave the stupid "man animal."

Defining Moment- The first sight of the nose hose.

Other considerations- T- too stupid for words. When the smarter of he "man animals" tries to educate himself to lead the freedom fight from the Psychios, he finds a 1000-year-old flight simulator that mysteriously still works! To add to the wonder of this, electricity is available to run the machine though there is absolutely no logic as to why. R- ridiculous waste of money. This skunk lost an estimated $70,000,000,

1978 The Boys from Brazil
Between Sir Lawrence Olivier, James Mason and Gregory Peck we have a total 19 Oscar nominations with 2 wins and 2 special achievement awards, 18 Golden Globe Nominations with 10 wins and 9 Emmy Nominations with 5 wins. That's a lot of mantle ware! However these three international super-stars combined efforts in the dreadful movie, "The Boys From Brazil."

The ingredients to this project included the above movie idols, a story ahead of its time about the possibility of cloning, the ever-intriguing theme of chasing Nazi war criminals and the beautiful backdrop of a South American Jungle. The results of this mixture?
Well, something you cannot eat, that's for sure.

Speaking of cake, the make-up on Peck and Olivier must have cost millions! What a disgrace to see these giants in this quagmire.

Defining Moment- The horrible little Fuehrer clone who turns the Dobermans on to his father.

Other considerations- H- how did this movie ever fool the critics? Lawrence Olivier in one of the worst performances of his life was actually nominated for a "Best Actor" Academy Award.

1984 Inchon
Sir Lawrence Olivier drops another acting bomb in the flop that is Inchon. Having trouble finding a copy of this video? Not surprising. This movie was so bad the followers of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon (the benefactor of the dough for this film), successfully found and destroyed most of the prints of this film. This is not a joke! The movie drew such bad reviews that its' makers sought to scourge it from the earth.

Intended as a chronicle of the Korean War and General Douglas McArthur, it is a hodge-podge of erratic cuts between hokey maps; real war footage and Olivier caked in make-up. Add to the plot a ridiculous sub-plot involving a love interest with the General's wife and the license taken to change historical facts at will and what you end up with…should be scourged from the earth!

Defining Moment- The first glimpse of Olivier's make-up

1996 Striptease
This mutt could have come any number of categories. However, Burt Reynolds humiliating himself by wearing cowboy boots and covering himself in Vaseline to satisfy his sexual fetish has to get special recognition. Reportedly, a broke and forgotten Reynolds begged for this role working for a minimum salary. He was paid too much.

Demi Moore also sells her reputation for a breast shot in this exploitive and stupid film.

Defining Moment- Actually there are two. Within the first 12 minutes of this film, Reynolds arrives at the "Eager Beaver" strip club in disguise (he's a Congressman, you know) gets out of the car and shuffles his feet saying he's going for some "poontang." Just a few minutes later, in defense of Demi, Congressman Burt hits a patron over the head with a bottle. As his aide tries to get him out of the bar, old Burt does his best, worst impression of Groucho Marx shuffling around like a bad mime. Two- Later in the movie, the Congressman says, "We can talk about anything you want…long as you're naked."

Other considerations- T- too stupid for words. Good mother is forced to becomes stripper and appears to have no vices what so ever as she dances nude for money- yeah right. R- ridiculous waste of money. This movie made another $18,000,000 vanish in thin air.

S- Shame on me for watching this human degradation
There is good and there is evil. Schindler's List is won of the best movies ever made. It is a story of good vs. evil. In the course of the movie we see sadistic behavior as well as sexual exploitation. There is never a doubt that they are evil and wrong. Also, when done with any semblance of integrity, there is nothing wrong with eroticism in film making- for example the highly acclaimed, Boogie Nights.

The films in this category do nothing to promote "good" and everything possible to "make a buck" from the "evil" they exploit or endorse.

1979 or 1980 Caligula
Considered by many to be the "trashiest" movie ever made. The highly credible cast featuring such acting giants as Peter O'Toole, Helen Merrin and John Gilguld were duped into participating in this landfill. Presented to these actors as a "historical drama," the rights to the movie were purchased by Penthouse Magazine's Bob Guccione…duh! Guccione took the express elevator to the sewer and added footage of every cruel and sexually exploitive nature that can be imagined. Beatings, throat cuttings, castration, and the killing of a small boy with a rock are samples of the cruelty of this film. As for the pornographic aspect? You name it, you get it- homosexuality, bestiality, oral sex, incest, necrophilia…. nothing is off limits.

Defining Moment- Early in the film a soldier's urinary tract is restricted and then forced to drink gallons of wine. A sword is ultimately skewered through the victim's bloated stomach.

Other considerations- A- actors who should be ashamed of having anything to do with this film. The afore mentioned O'Toole, Mirren and Gilgould. Add to the list of those who are ashamed of ever participating, writer Gore Vidal.

Offenses: endless sadistic violence and explicit sexual exploitation

1975 Mandingo
The facts that atrocities happened during the era of American slavery are a matter of historical fact. The TV mini-series Roots is perhaps the most highly acclaimed dramatic film project to ever approach this subject. Mandingo is exploitation at its' worst.

What is so bad about Mandingo? The fact that there is nothing good in Mandingo. This sadistic, sex sells production features an old slave, hung naked by his heels and whipped, the repeated beatings of women and men, rape, cheap pornography, sexual stereotyping, the "evil" of interracial sex and as a topper, the boiling of live slaves in a huge caldron of water.

Defining Moment- Early in the film, James Mason orders a little "Nigra" boy to lie on the floor beneath his feet to help alleviate his rheumatism.

Other Considerations- A- actors who should be ashamed of having anything to do with this film. Double shame on James Mason for his extensive part in this garbage.

Offenses: sadistic torture, violence, sexual exploitation, sexual stereo-typing, racism

1994 Natural Born Killers
Horrific violence is cool and will win you stardom. That seems to be
point of this monster-piece. Filmed with the novae "herky-jerky" camera technique we get to see the continual senseless violence as though we are watching the movie during a 9.0 earthquake. Added to Oliver Stone's film is a constant switch from color to black and white and from present to past. Is it the cinematography or the substance that turns our stomachs worse? The only good thing that can be said for this film is that someone was smart enough to release the two-hour version. Stone later released his "director's cut" that adds another hour of violence for the really, really sick!

Other Considerations A- actors who should be ashamed of having anything to do with this film. Academy Award Winner Tommy Lee Jones.

Defining Moment- The first jerking of the camera.

Offense: selling senseless violence as a means to stardom

1987 Flowers in the Attic
Hummmm…. Let's make a movie. We'll use as a set a house that looks like the one Hermann Munster lived in, we'll direct the worst acting imaginable, we'll use a screenplay based on a best-seller (so when the movie stinks people will be diverted and say, "If you read the book,") and for a storyline…I've got it! Child Abuse!

Victoria Tennant is absolutely horrid as the mother of the abused children. Academy Award Winner, Louise Fletcher isn't too far behind. (Why do good actors act so badly in bad films?)

Defining Moment- After returning home with her children, assumed to be the Devil's Spawn by her mother (Fletcher), Victoria is told by good ol' mom and dad to disrobe so she can receive one lash with a bullwhip for each year she was absent.

Other Considerations- T-Too stupid for words. The children, despite the fact the older ones are big, strong and smart, are left to starve in an attic- yet they make no attempt to escape? A- Actors who should be ashamed of having anything to do with this film. Louise Fletcher.

Offense: profiting from a story about child abuse.

1982 Porky's
Unlike the other movies listed in this category, Porky's is not evil or even intended to be mean spirited. It is however, RICICULOUSLY STUPID and gives off a dangerous message. The message is one of condoning sex by high school boys while showing no respect whatsoever for women. How could you best sum up the plot of this movie? Six high-school boys (though they all look 20+) spend the movie thinking of only three things, losing their virginity, penis size and boobs. The boy most admired by his peers is named, "Meat." Add a stupid sub-plot (can you have a sub-plot if you don't have a plot?) about a villainous bar owner who tricks the boys with promised prostitution and drops them through a trap door (trap door? Gimme a break!) into the swamp, complete with killer alligators.

Defining Moment- Early in the film the boys find a hole in the wall of the girls locker room shower. Incredibly, this large perfectly round hole is beneath the faucets and showerhead, yet no one sees it. After a long peep show…and I'm not making this up, one boy puts h is erect penis through the hole. Not dumb enough? The girls coach, Ms Balbraker then enters the shower and grabs the intruder.

Other considerations- T too stupid for words. This entire movie is STUPID, STUPID, STUPID.

Offense: the male (even boys) quest for sex is all that is important in life and women simply serve the purpose of helping fulfill that purpose.

H- How did this movie ever fool the critics?
If there is any controversy to this list, it will come here. It's amazing how certain directors are given a free pass to put anything on the screen and be rewarded with positive reviews. Unfortunately, these "rubber stamps" of approval lead many people into agreement. Is it a fear that "maybe I'm just not smart enough to understand the movie" that gets the "elite" crowd to fawn over these terribly over-rated films?

1971, 1987, 1999 The Stanley Kubrick Triplets:
A Clockwork Orange, Full Metal Jacket and Eyes Wide Shut
If life were as bleak, empty and dehumanized as Stanley Kubrick sees it, who would even be here? These three films, highly acclaimed, do nothing but paint a depressing picture of our own existence. Clockwork Orange is about a futuristic group of teenage thugs who indulge in sadistic rape on a nightly basis. Full Metal Jacket uses the Viet Nam war to sell sex and violence while not so subtly making the point that authority, especially American authority is evil. Eyes Wide Shut is just a bad porno flick in disguise.

Defining Moments-
A Clockwork Orange-The opening monologue by Malcolm McDowell as the Alex:" There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence."

Full Metal Jacket- Is it the scene where Gunnery Sargent R. Lee Ermey (playing Gunnery Sergeant Hartman) has driven recruit Vincent D'Onofrio to insanity and murder or is it when Marines line up in the middle of a bombed out setting to pay for oral sex with a Vietnamese girl?

Eyes Wide Shut- In the opening scene, THE OPENING SCENE, we are treated to Nichol Kiddman finishing her business on the toilet complete with her wiping herself. Now that's entertainment!

If you could have taken any of these three film and changed the name on directing credit to Joe Verhoeven (Showgirls) but absolutely nothing else, they would have been panned without mercy. It isn't chic to question Mr. Kubrick's would-be pornography.

1971 Billy Jack
Some will classify Billy Jack as a sequel to Born Losers. I do not. Yes it has Tom Laughlin playing the same character, but everything else about this movie is completely different.

Originally this movie was listed under the Too Stupid for Words heading (that it certainly is appropriate) however, after finding that co-star Dolores Taylor was nominated for a Golden Globe (best newcomer) and that Roger Ebert had given it an amazing 2 ½ stars, it had to be listed here.

Billy Jack attacks more social issues than Barbara Striesand. In the course of the movie issues including gun control, education, racism, the plight of the American Indian, tolerance for marijuana, child abuse and the killing of pretty horses is somehow woven into the flimsy script.

The horrible acting is at least consistent throughout the cast. Tom Loughlin (who refers to himself as an "Injun") is the Green Beret in Levis on a mission to save the world. Dolores Taylor (Loughlin's business partner) co-stars with all the passion of a piece of pine.

What makes BJ especially ridiculous are the many scenes that make no sense what so ever. Picture an Ice Cream Parlor with a counter and workers behind it. There are innocent American Indian children setting on stools at the counter. Bad, racist cowboys come in and begin to pick on the children. One bad guy reaches his hand out (towards the dining room) and another bad guy places a baker's scoop full of flour into his hand. The flour is then sprinkled over a child's head. The problem? Why would there be flour available in an Ice Cream Parlor? And even supposing there was (that's a big supposition!) what would it be doing in the dining room. Wouldn't it be in the kitchen or behind the counter? In Billy Jack's first fight, thugs make a circle around him. He then fights them- one at a time. Duh…Of course, bad guys always fight one at a time in bad movies? In another scene, Billy Jack "talks" the son of the town's mean rancher and wild horse hater into driving his Corvette into a lake.

Defining Moment- This move spares no opportunity to be bad. The blood that appears in various scenes is, believe it or not, is almost orange!

In a ploy that was either smart by the Billy Jack production company or that proves how lost some people really are there, was actually a newspaper campaign to protest the fact that Billy Jack wasn't nominated for any Academy Awards.

2004 Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
In the opening of this list it was stated that a movie going for stupid gags isn't necessarily bad, unless it completely crosses the line of good taste. Anchorman erases the line.

See if you can follow this: Anchorman is a bad movie, everyone seems to agree, however many critics applaud it for being a bad movie that knows it's a bad movie. Huh? Three Stars from Roger Ebert makes me wonder if Roger actually drinks in the balcony.

The terrible Will Ferrell drops yet another bomb, this time in the guise of a news reporter. The storyline? Sexist newscaster goes from the top to the bottom and is replace by of all things…a woman!

There are so many stupid aspects to this movie that it's hard to pinpoint the worst ones. Ferrell parades around the newsroom with an erection about the size of a yardstick. (Now that's funny!) Later once the sexist Ferrell is on the rocks, he gulps down milk as a wino does wine- with about as much humor.

Defining Moment- This is embarrassing to even write. At the depth of his fall from fame, Ferrell goes to his favorite restaurant and is served s _ _ _ (a slang expression for feces) on a plate. Three Stars? Shame on anyone who favorably reviewed this film.

1977 Annie Hall
It was a sad night in Hollywood when the Academy Awards awarded 4 Oscars from 5 nominations, including best picture, to Annie Hall. The Golden Globes also awarded this 93-minute self-indulgence, by Woody Allen, Best Picture.

Perhaps there is a Soho crowd that enjoys Woody whining through his nose is multi-minute speeches and Diane Keaton acting (?) like flower child who smoked too many leaves, but clearly, this is not what most people lay out cold hard cash to see.

Woody Allen seems to have immunity when it comes to film reviews. Why?

Without all the accolades, this silly, boring little movie would not have offended anyone and would have just faded away after a few showings at the local "art house" theater." Rave reviews kept Annie Hall from a proper, quiet death.

Defining Moment- Woody Allen speaking as Alvy Singer: "Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here."

1977 Julia
Like Annie Hall, Julia could have been just another boring movie. Unfortunately, the critics lapped it up. 11, eleven Oscar nominations (including Best Picture) with 3 wins and 2 Golden Globe wins from 7 nominations were bestowed on this cure for insomnia.

Why was this movie so revered? Let's see…Venessa Redgrave was one of the first celebrities to visit Communist Cuba in 1962 and is a longtime member of Britain's Workers Revolutionary Party. In an interview on the BBC in 2004 she declared that the massacre of Russian school children "was not an act of terrorism." And then there's Jane…I don't even to list her left wing, anti-American resume. Do the political opinions of these two women matter in reviewing the movie? If the reviews were bad, Hollywood would be up in arms blaming the influence of the far right. Could it be that Hollywood took the opportunity to embrace this movie because of Redgrave and Fonda's politics?

Honorable Mention
This list was limited to 25. Other candidates considered:

1979 Star Trek- The Motion PictureR, A
1985GymkataT
1986Howard the DuckT, R, S
1987Leonard Part 6T, R
1991Hudson HawkeT, R
1996Mars Attacks!T, R, A, H
1998ArmageddonT, R, A
1998The AvengersT, R, A
1999Deuce Bigalow- Male GigoloT, S

(Overrated)
1962Lawrence of ArabiaH
1970AirportT, R, A, H
1996The English PatientH

Special Awards-

Most Stupid Movie-Anaconda (the Voight barfed-up, still alive scene was the clincher)
Worst Waste of Money- Heaven's Gate (forced United Artists to sell the company)
Most Shamed Actor- Marlon Brando, The Island of Dr. Moreau
(As though Brando wasn't bad or big enough, they painted him with white paint)
Shame for Watching- Mandingo (slavery, beatings, rape, racism, torture, sex and the live boiling of slaves)
Critics Worst Goof- Annie Hall (not the worst film on the list or even in the category, but certainly not deserving of the Oscar for Best Picture of the Year)

Worst Leading Actress- Elizabeth Berkeley, Showgirls
Worst Supporting Actress- Victoria Tennant, Flowers in the Attic
Worst Leading Actor- Marlon Brando, The Island of Doctor Moreau
Worst Supporting Actor- Burt Reynolds, Striptease
Worst Director- Oliver Stone, Natural Born Killers