The Great American Road Trip

Summertime is almost upon us again, and you are just itching to pack the kids in the RV or pile in your 85 Volvo with your college buddies: time to head onto the vast expanse that is the American highway. But the road is a harsh mistress. If you and your traveling compadres, be it family or friends, are to survive, you need to adequately prepare. Here's a pre-flight checklist before burning rubber.

•Get your vehicle of choice checked out. Are the tires good? Do you have a spare? Find the number of AAA and give your oil, transmission and break fluid a once over. On my last trip from Eugene, Oregon, my friends and I were headed to Mexico when half-way through California, the exhaust system on our Oldsmobile split in half. Somehow, we managed to rig the pipe up with a wire coat hanger and coast into town. We survived that one, but I learned the lesson.

•Road Maps. Purchase lots of them. Whatever state you plan to venture through, around, or even by - get a map of it. Even if a place isn't exactly on your itinerary, you may decide that on your way to Vegas the Grand Canyon looks awfully inviting. You never know when you'll want to stop and see the O.K. Corral down in Tombstone or Paul Bunyan's birthplace and statue up in Bangor, Maine. Nothing is worse than getting lost on a gravel road and ending up in a place that would make the hillbillies from Deliverance nervous.

•Have the right clothes for the right place. Even if you plan on spending your summer vacation in the desert, always bring several changes of clothes for all environments. On my last road-trip during spring break, it rained on us in L.A. Here I was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, getting poured on in Southern California. Rain in Los Angeles?? I would not have guessed. Never the less, I should have brought a coat.

•No doubt, feasting upon the local cuisine is half, if not most of the fun of a huge road-trip. However, the munchies will hit at anytime; unless if you have a fridge, you will want lots of nonperishable road food. My road-trip foods of choice: Beef Jerky and Kirkland's Fruit Medley. Salted, dried meat, dried fruit, and nuts. Now that's a road-trip food pyramid I can get behind.

•Finally, even the most interesting and talkative of car companions will get tired of entertaining you with stories about their Uncle Albert's ability to eat 20 hotdogs in one sitting. Load up on your CD collection, but make sure you bring tunes everyone can enjoy. Audio books are also great for passing the time. While listening to Mario Puzo's The Godfather, the 12 hours I drove from Las Vegas to San Francisco went by in no time.

You've checked your RV or car, packed some tasty road treats, and every map you could get from your AAA vending machine has currently overflowed your glove compartment. You might also want a roadside guide book. Like I mentioned earlier, America has all sorts of crazy, but entertaining roadside attractions that you'll want to take pictures of and bore the neighbors with later. Roadside America by Doug Kirby is an excellent choice with maps and plenty of road-trip anecdotes.

A word of advice from a seasoned road-tripper: get gas and get gas often. My college roommate and I took a trip up to Mendocino National Forest in Northern California. As we prepared to leave after a night of camping, we noticed the fuel gauge on red. Our morning consisted of coasting down the mountain on neutral and pumping the break, coasting into a nearby town . . . nearby as in 40 miles away. So have a good idea about how much gas your road-trip-mobile uses. Going through desolate places like Nevada or New Mexico can mean miles at a time with no fuel stations. Fill up when you can.

The road-trip is about as American as gigantic, gas guzzling SUVs and horrible Ben Affleck action movies. So get out and drive! I've laid out the prep work for you, so your car and your travel posse should have everything needed. Oh and fuzzy dice. Everyone needs fuzzy dice.