The Great American Soap Opera: How Many Times Can One Person Get Married?

Ah, the American Daytime Drama. How I love them. Still, I sometimes find myself talking back to the television. Yet I'm not asking Nick how he could possibly cheat on Sharon, but remarking at the impossibility of the plotline.

Sure, I understand soap operas are supposed to be fun, over-the-top, "out there" with characters that are larger than life. But come on. Sometimes, they go too far.

As a writer, I understand the concept of Suspension of Disbelief. This concept is the basis for all fiction. In simple terms, suspending disbelief means that the viewer or reader releases their natural inclination to disbelieve either the actions of an individual are true to form, or that such-and-such event couldn't happen. Instead, the viewer or reader gives the story the benefit of the doubt, if you will. The viewer or reader joins in the fun of the story and makes the conscious decision to believe what he normally might find unbelievable.

For instance, in my favorite soap opera, The Young and the Restless, many of the main characters have recently ended up in the hospital. Kevin went into the hospital, got patched up, and then released to police custody. Colleen, who Kevin is accused of attempting to murder (for the second time) is on a breathing machine after getting rescued from a burning refrigerator. Again, for the second time. Drucilla has voluntarily checked into the psych ward in the same hospital. But to top it off, Lily, Dru's daughter is sitting on a hospital bed getting stitches in her head. I ask you...how many times have you ended up in the hospital with your mother going into the psych ward of the same hospital? Personally, I've only seen the inside of a hospital less than five times and that count is spread over several decades. These people should have stock in the hospital and a direct Hot Phone from the hospital to their cell phone number. Shoot, they should, as a matter of every day life, check in with hospital staff to see which of their loved ones has gotten shot, stabbed, knocked over the head, run over, or fallen ill with a mysterious disease. In fact, how do these people get health or life insurance?

Is this simply a rash of hospital scenes? Are the writers and director trying to make full use of the hospital set? I don't think so. Only a few weeks ago, the storyline had viewers visiting the hospital when John Abbott died. Then, of course, Phyllis and Lauren had their babies soon after and within a few days of each other. Oh, sure, Phyllis actually gave birth in an elevator, but she and baby Summer still ended up in Maternity. For the love Shakespeare! With all the main characters either admitted to the hospital or visiting people in the hospital, I'm a bit surprised the medical staff doesn't shout out their names when they walk through the door. You know, like the patrons of the old Cheers show did whenever Norm walked through the door.

Another axiom in the writing business is that there are no new stories or plotlines. Only the way in which the story is told is different. Examine the plots of your favorite movies or television shows. See how the same plots are played over and over with only character changes and subtle twists making them different? We've all watched a show and known what was going to happen next because we've seen a similar show. But at least the producers and writers changed characters giving us a variety of new faces, right? Not so with the typical soap opera.

That's not to say the occasional new character isn't introduced. But it's fairly clear to see which new character will live on and which one will soon be either murdered or run out of town. A faithful viewer can tell by how many scenes the "newbie" has with the big name characters. After all, someone has to die. Otherwise, how will we suffer through yet another trial, worrying if our favorite leading man or lady will end up in prison? Case in point: Jana. She burst onto the Genoa City scene as a quirky, fun-loving, serial-killer enthusiast. Her serial-killer infatuation told the viewer to beware. Jana would soon either (1) be murdered or (2) murder someone else. The latter happened this time around when she murdered yet another new character.

Still, I can handle the repetitive plotlines. I can handle knowing ahead of time which new characters won't last. I can even handle the fact that these people spend a whole lot of time at the hospital. The thing that I find hard to take is how many times these people get married.

Love, it seems, on a soap opera is a contagious thing. Like the common cold or flu, no one can make it through an entire year without getting either engaged, married, or divorced. Heck, I've even seen shows where a character did all three! Do the writers of the show really think their viewers have Attention Deficit Disorder? Do they think we really believe that anyone in their right mind would marry Victor more than once? But Nikki has married him not once, but several times.

Other characters are flip-floppers down the lane of wedded matrimony, as well. Brad has married both of the Abbott sisters and is now married to Victoria, Victor's daughter. She's intelligent enough to run Victor's empire, but not smart enough to see Brad for the womanizing opportunist that he is? I'm sure, given another season or two, he'll wind up marrying Victoria's mom and Victoria's ex-sister-in-law, Sharon. In fact, I wouldn't put it past the writers to have him find out that Colleen isn't his biological daughter and they'll end up married, too!

Still, I watch. I tune in every day or set the program to record. I hate it whenever I miss my favorite show. Will I still scoff at the screen when yet another person ends up in the hospital? Sure. Will I roll my eyes when yet another new character bites the dust thus putting one of our favorite characters under suspicion of murder? You bet. And I'll most definitely complain out loud if Nikki once again divorces Victor only to turn around and wed him once again.

But here's the big question. Will I continue to watch to see what happens next?

You bet I will.