The Great Peanut Butter Panic

It recently occurred to me that the list of "unsafe" foods has become almost unbelievable. Is it possible that this many food items can legitimately be unsafe for our consumption? Spinach, lettuce, scallions, and peanut butter are all recent examples of widespread food contamination scares. What gives?

I can understand maybe a mass hysteria over tainted clams or oysters. But peanut butter? What could possibly be next? Is there going to be a recall of Fruity Pebbles because of salmonella-fied sugar? Why does it seem to be so much more common in recent years? What has changed? Somehow, I don't recall hearing of all these panicky food scares as a kid. I remember the urban legends of course. McDonald's serving meat fortified with earthworm. Pop Rocks and Coke swelling you up until you explode. But those were rare stories and usually only taken seriously by 10 year olds like me.

But this new stuff is serious business. People dying from tainted food. How does that happen with all our massive governmental regulation? Is the system that flawed or are the germs just really sneaky ninja germs? About an hour ago my wife threw away a seemingly innocent jar of Great Value peanut butter with the evil batch number we have been told to look for from ConAgra. I looked at it pretty hard and I really couldn't see the little salmonella bugs anywhere. Nevertheless we pitched it in the trash just in case. Kinda ticked me off to be honest. It already had a few spoonfuls missing. So either the culprit who did that had a really strong immune system or there were no salmonella ninja bugs in it at all. I'm leaning towards the latter scenario, but better safe than sorry I suppose.

So, in the last several months I have purchased (or refrained from purchasing) peanut butter, bagged spinach and lettuce that I never got to enjoy. I'm sure there are several things in my house right now that have yet to be identified as biologically mutated consumables. This is a big source of stress for me, particularly because of my love of food in all it's forms. I feel betrayed when my peanut butter turns on me. At some point, something near to me is going to become my mortal enemy and it's going to push me over the edge. I'll form a commune and we will grow our own food and use no chemicals or fertilizers except poop.

Yeah, I know. I'm trivializing what is actually a serious issue. I'm only trying to inject a little levity into the subject. In actuality, according to activist Eric Schlosser in a recent NY Times article, the problem may be due in part to the extreme underfunding that food inspection agencies are faced with. In short, the typical lack of political motivation to fix a real problem. There is no reason for our governmental officials to make any attempt to remedy this problem unless there is a direct and substantial benefit to them or the lobbyists they are beholden to. Pretty much just like every other issue you can think of. Money makes the world go round and you and I are not in any real position to change the system. I would, however, urge you to find organizations who offer a voice through strength in numbers to affect legislation. And, for what it's worth, fire off a letter or two to your representatives in power.

I highly recommend any of Schlosser's books; especially Fast Food Nation as well as Morgan Spurlock's Super Size Me. Pretty radical in some ways but both are very eye-opening.

Let's all keep our eyes open and be vigilant in our homes in rooting out evil in our consumables. With that, I am going to go find a saltine cracker and microwave for a half hour- just to be on the safe side.