The Guaranteed Way to Get a Ton of MySpace Friends

I'll just cut to the chase: You want a big ol' butt load of friends on MySpace? How about using a layout that doesn't take for-freaking-ever to load?!?!?

That's right. Getting friends requests doesn't involve using some lame, virus ridden program that automates requests. It's all about accessibility. Most people won't even consider adding you if the about me section doesn't load, or your stupid media player is hogging bandwidth to stream some song that only you, and three members of your posse care about.

The beautiful thing about Myspace is everyone can see your profile(unless you make it private). Because of that, you have the ability to look over specific details and decide whether or not their interests are similar to yours.

I hate to burst everybody's bubble(lies), but not everybody has a high speed connection. *GASP!* I'm sure those that do would appreciate more fast-loading layouts as well. If it takes five minutes for some messy, image laden MySpace page to load on Dial up, It must take longer than usual on other connection speeds as well.

Here are a few guidelines for all repeat offenders:

-Don't document every thought you ever had with a randomly placed pic on your profile. People need to stop using LARGE MOVIE POSTERS to illustrate their love for crappy teen comedies.

-You're a musician? That's cool. How about you kill the auto play feature on whatever media player you use on MySpace? Just a thought...It's almost like you're forcing the alleged talent upon people, before they get a chance to read up on your background story.

-Delete comments on a regular basis. They aren't Hallmark cards, people. Get rid of 'em! When every "friend" you have wants to advertise some live event or local meat up(that is nowhere near your location) with the aid of a picture, it really slows everything down.

Please take all of these suggestions into consideration. I'm sure somebody will thank you. As for me, I'm too busy procrastinating to fully care about the staggering level of incompetence on your space, her space or anyone else's space.