The Guy's Guide to Chick Flicks

Alright fellas, the inevitable is upon us. Valentine's Day is just around the corner and there's no room left to wiggle out of sitting with your special someone and watching a "Chick Flick." As much as we want to swerve the conversation or suggest a manlier alternative, this is the one time of year we can't get out of this responsibility.

So with that in mind, I've sat down and made a list of guidelines you should follow in the selection process, as well as a list of five "safe" movies where the girl gets what she wants and the guy survives another year.

The Guy Rules To Picking A Chick Flick

1.) Avoid the criers!

- That's right, steer clear of anything that is going to turn on the waterworks. Valentine's Day is all about the romance right. Well if you're a dude, and if you are reading this I am assuming you are, then you have goal in mind once the movie is over. With that in mind, its perhaps best not to depress the other party and kill your chances. Stay away from movies like Steel Magnolias, What Dreams May Come, My Life, Beaches, or any other similarly depressing tearjerkers.

2.) No Dance Movies!

- From Dirty Dancing to Save The Last Dance to Footloose, nothing sends the wrong message to your chick like guys in leotards. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course.

3.) Try to stick to comedies!

- The first downfall in picking chick flicks is that we think it has to be a straight romance film. It doesn't. As a matter of fact, the more comedy you can mix into it, the more enjoyable it will be, for both parties. Laughter helps to lighten up the most droll of chick flicks, even if a tear or two is shed.

4.) Stay away from primarily female casts!

- You know which ones I'm talking about too. I'm addressing the Fried Green Tomatoes, Beaches, Steel Magnolias, Sex In The City, etc. Nothing says there isn't anything in it for the guy as much as a movie with all chicks on the cover.

5.) No musicals...period!

- No explanation is needed here. There is no need for a guy to sit down and watch Grease, Moulin Rouge, Chicago, or any of its fellow brethren.

Alright, now that we've got the ground rules set, let's find a few safe choices for the guy that wants to score points but still survive the night.

The Ugly Truth

Released in 2009, this movie has the new "it girl" in chick flick, Katherine Heigl. But trust me guys, it's a trap for her. It's a romantic comedy but packaged as a slightly less offensive Knocked Up. It's chock full of crude guy behavior and innuendo. Sure, it gets sappy in parts, but it can be tolerated for a scene with jello wrestling, right?

The Princess Bride

This is a film that is the best of both worlds for you and your gal. It's a sappy fairytale, but it is also a genre spoof packed with enough one-liners to take to the water cooler the next day. And come on now, nothing says Valentine's Day more than Andre the Giant!

You've Got Mail

This movie is basically just the studio's need to remake Sleepless in Seattle, which in its own right is tolerable, because Hollywood has no originality. However, You've Got Mail won't have the reverse effect of making you look like an underachieving mate like Sleepless in Seattle will. Tom Hanks is again the saving grace for you here and the movie has some small cameos with a younger Dave Chapelle.

Fever Pitch

You're going to have to do some covert work on pulling this one off. It's a Farrelly Brothers movie, so that alone sends up a red flag in her book. That said, you have to play up the Drew Barrymore falling in love with Jimmy Fallon thing to sell the choice. Then, when she's comfortable on the couch, you can surprise her with the baseball part of it. I mean, afterall, that's why you rented it in the first place.

50 First Dates

Another Drew Barrymore film, but let's face it, she's underrated as a comedian and she's always been "viewable" by the male audience. And if you're fast enough, you just might be able to sneak Adam Sandler by here on chick flick night! Seriously though, this movie is genuinely funny with a good cast and should pack enough for both of you.

Alright fellas, I've armed you with the means to survive the night. Go forth and make your fellow men proud!