The Hard Truths of Weight Loss

In the last four months I've lost 25 pounds. Every time someone asks how I did it, I have to think about my reply. Do I give them the simple answer, the one that answers the question but doesn't really help them ("the South Beach Diet"), or do I tell them the truth? Most people who ask are hoping I will say there is a magic pill they can take to help them "Lose ten pounds in ten days!" They don't want to hear the real answer. But just in case there is someone out there who does, here is the truth: there are certain things, difficult things, that you have to accept in order to lose weight. You have to face the facts of weight loss.

Weight loss takes time. If you're still looking for a quick fix, then you're not ready for real, long-term weight loss. It took quite a while to gain weight, and it's going to take just as long or longer to come off. Understanding that this takes time and patience is half the battle.

There's no such thing as a temporary diet. I started with the South Beach Diet, and although I've made some minor changes since, that's pretty much how I still eat. It works for me because the good carbs fill me up, meaning I'm never hungry. Because if I'm hungry all bets are off! But whatever you choose, make sure you can maintain it far into the future. The problem with quick fix diets, aside from the fact that they don't always work, is that they don't teach you how to eat after you've stopped following them. And long term is the key. You have to eat properly for the rest of your life. The knowledge that you're always going to have to second guess that Big Mac or piece of cheesecake can be a scary thing to accept. That's not to say you can't have treats on occasion, but to maintain your weight loss, you're always going to have to weigh the good and the bad - cheesecake now means veggies for dinner, for example. This is forever. Period.

You have to be aware of calories. It's annoying to hear this, but the experts really are right - weight loss equals calories in minus calories out. It doesn't matter what diet you choose, you can't escape this, so just embrace it. Even on diets like South Beach that don't call for counting calories, you still have to be aware of your portions. There are great sites like fitday.com and sparkpeople.com that can help you figure out how many calories you burn in a day and therefore how many you should eat in a day. And eventually - sooner than you think - you will learn what you can eat and what you can't, and you won't have to count anymore.

People are going to try to bring you down. Accept it, and learn how to ignore it. As my mom always told me, "close the doors on your ears". People will say all sorts of crazy, unhelpful, and sometimes downright mean things to you when you are losing weight. Things like "oh, you can have this piece of pizza, it won't hurt you." Maybe it will, maybe it won't, but that is for you to decide. In order to be successful at weight loss, you have to disreagrd everyone who comments about the way you eat, how much you have lost, how you look or whether you need to lose weight at all.

You need support. If you're lucky, you'll get support at home, but I've found that's not enough. My husband is too nice to me - he is very supportive of my weight loss, but when I'm in a bad mood and whining that I want ice cream, more often than not he goes to get it! So I also have a group of online friends doing this with me. We have a private journal on livejournal.com and we all check in every day. If I gorge on ice cream too often, they will let me know what they think about it, and that knowledge alone is often enough to prevent me from eating it. If you don't know anyone personally who is doing weight loss, try getting active on a support forum like the one at 3fatchicks.com.

Exercise is too important to make excuses about. But the good news is that it doesn't have to be fancy and you don't have to kill yourself with it. Currently my exercise consists of a one-mile walk every evening. That's two laps around my block and it takes about half an hour. Eventually I'll probably work up to something else, but for now this is enough. Don't waste time worrying about how you're going to exercise - just start moving.

The only obstacle to losing weight is you. Yes, that's harsh, but it must be faced. Every single piece of food you put in your mouth is your choice. I know first hand how much cravings can bring you down and how tempting it is just eat yummy things when you are out with friends. And sometimes I do go for it, but I always remind myself that if the scale goes up, I have no one to blame but myself. And every time I say no, and the scale goes down, I have no one to reward but myself. It all comes down to you.

It took me years to learn and accept all of these facts. Hopefully you, dear reader, will be smarter and take them to heart right away. And good luck. It's hard, but you really can do it.