The Hidden Consequence of Choosing the Wrong Nanny for Your Children

There are few areas that psychologists will agree on more than the need to maintain as much stability in a child's life as possible. Whether we are talking about nannies, neighborhoods or bedrooms everyone knows that children do best when they are in a stable environment. In many situations, there is little that a family can do to avoid some disruptions. New job offers across town or across the country require significant changes that affect the whole family including the infant that hasn't spoken a word yet. Some disruptions are unavoidable and luckily humans and especially children are resilient and can adapt to most changes. That being said, it is still better for the well being of the children to avoid as many dramatic changes as possible.

One area that some families do not always consider is the length of time that a family may need a nanny. Most families hiring nannies or sitters are concerned about leaving their child with a stranger and take great care to run background checks and speak to references. But constantly changing the nanny or sitter is one of the disruptions in a child's life that we may be able to avoid by choosing wisely to begin with. Bringing a new face into the family can be difficult and at the same time can be very rewarding. The experience and extra attention that a nanny can give to children usually outweighs any initial rough patch of introducing someone new. The problem occurs when new nannies or sitters are constantly being changed or rotated.

If you are hiring a full time nanny or an occasional sitter for date night, consistency is very important. Whenever possible and it is not always possible, try to work with an agency that can provide the same sitter as often as available. The children will know what to expect and they will be more comfortable being with someone they know when you are not home. The same thing is true for hiring a nanny. Some families change nannies frequently which disrupt the stability that is so important in a child's life. Sometimes the reasons are beyond a families control like, moving or medical conditions. But many times the change is due to not finding the right person to fit your needs.

Some common examples of situations that can lead to frustrating changes:

1. Hiring an excellent housekeeper to double as a nanny that just may not be as good with the kids.
2. Hiring a nanny over the internet who claims to have so much experience only to find they are overwhelmed since all of their experience was taking care of a younger brother or sister.
3. Trying to save money on childcare only to see good nannies leave for better paying positions.
4. Hiring an undocumented worker that may become nervous and suddenly leaves without notice.
5. Just plain old personality conflicts are probably the number one issue. It is not always easy for a family to get along with someone new in their home, but most times a little understanding can go a long ways.

The bottom line is to think through what your needs are and remembering that your children need to get along with the person you hire more than you do.