The Humor of Weird Band Names

Having become a compulsive peer-to-peer music downloader, I'm always astounded by the incredible number of musical artists of whom I have never heard. But I'm more astounded by some of the weird band names these artists (and I may be using the term loosely) append to themselves.

I'm always happy to find recordings of independent origin (ROIO) by folks with good, solid, original and sometimes even amusing band names that don't try to sock me in the puss with a bad- or smart-ass attitude, obtuse personal statement or some form of political or social commentary. I'm thinking of the Rolling Stones and Bob Dylans of the world for my generation, and for the (much) younger set, the Jonas Brothers and Fergies. Weird band names, these are not.

But then I run across such weird band names as, "Serious Drinking," "Ugly Casanova," "Good Rats," "Atomic Bitchwax" and "Truck Stop Honeymoon." And I have to wonder: Exactly how weird can some bands get with their identities?

Well, it appears that virtually anything goes. And therein lies a great opportunity for amusement.

1,500 weird band names, and every one a giggle

For insight into the extent to which some pop musicians will go to differentiate themselves from the pack (or perhaps to appeal to a narrow market niche, or maybe just to indulge their own fantasies), look no farther than, "The Canonical List of Weird Band Names - The Peculiar and the Profane."

This intriguing website currently lists more than 1500 names of "actual bands, past and present." A quick tour reveals that the site's content lives up to its promise.

I started my own random tour of weird band names with, "Lesbian-Dope-Heads-on-Mopeds," "Aggressive Crotch Display," "Castration Squad," "Iowa Beef Experience" and "Flying Testicle." I went on to visit "Attila the Stockbroker," "The Dinner is Ruined," "Ringo Deathstarr" and "Roid Rogers and the Whirling Buttcherries."

Dope-Heads and Space Rape

About half or more of the entries at the Canonical List of Weird Band Names include a link to a group's public cyber sandbox (although many actually are MySpace pages). There, you can get at least a hint of some of the "thinking" behind the name, if at times not much good taste.

Arriving at the Dope-Heads' page, I quickly learned that the band members aren't lesbians at all. In fact, they're not even females. I also learned that the grammatically challenged Dope-Heads hail from "wankoff, Eastern New Zealand" (get it?). The site features several of the band's original tunes available for pay or play, including the tasty titles, "Space Rape Live" and "Nose Dive Karma," either of which is, a-hem, a true listening experience.

There's also a discography of some of the group's biggest "hits," including "Steroid Jism Harvester," "Pigface Fook" and "Gaye Bikers on Acid." And if you think this is all a joke, the Dope-Heads catalog a career dating back to the late 1980s, including gigs at some fairly big-name venues across North America and the UK. All of which may in fact be a joke, but these days you never know.

Moving on to "The Dinner is Ruined," I discovered that this band apparently doesn't have either a website or a MySpace page, unfortunately. These failed kitchen Kamikazes make do with a Wikipedia entry, which states in part:

"The Dinner Is Ruined are (sic) a Canadian indie rock band. The band members are Dale Morningstar, Dave Clark and Dr. Johnny Pee.

"Formed in 1991, partially as a side project for Rheostatics drummer Dave Clark, the band are (sic) a blues-influenced experimental noise rock combo whose sound is often compared to Superchunk and The Breeders."

That explains it perfectly.

Over at the Ringo Deathstarr page, I found a true standout among groups with weird band names. To categorize the Deathstarr's music, the phrase "dismally incoherent" seems to fit. According to the Daily Texan, this Austin, Texas group is the "best ass in Austin." I don't exactly know what that means, but the page does offer some other thoughtful descriptions by several other sources.

One is the blogger "Swiss Toni's Place," who opines that, "You can never have too much of a good thing. Especially when that good thing is screamingly loud blitzkrieg pop and laser-guided shoegazery melodies."

Blogger MP3 Hugger chimes in with, "Tracks like 'Down On You' boast a mesmerising (sic) tumble drier of molten guitars and a balmy sirocco of dreamy vocals. This is music to lose yourself in."

Mesmerizing and dreamy are a bit of a stretch. More like torturous and debilitating. Frankly, if you listen to this group long enough, the only thing you will lose is your mind--which seems to be true of all the groups with weird band names that I sampled. That's just my opinion, but I'm sticking to it.

The last page I visited was Roid Rogers and the Whirling Buttcherries. I won't say much about them, except that you really must visit to appreciate their perspective. The group is a perfect poster child for weird band names. Hint: Think Monty Python meets the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

The Syntax of Weird Band Names

After my abbreviated tour, I got to thinking that the Canonical List presents some interesting narrative possibilities. Throw together two or three weird band names, and who knows what kind of appropriately bizarre train of thought might emerge. So, in short order, I came up with a few examples:

"Dregs Kill Jesus" in "Drive by Crucifixion."

"Drew Barrymore's Dealer" is "Scoring Dope for the Ultimate Woman."

"The Scopes Funky Trial" amputates "Satan's Almighty Penis," but not before consuming "Four Fried Chickens and a Coke" (the latter band graciously acknowledges their debt to the classic movie, The Blues Brothers).

"The Fearless Iranians from Hell" are really just "Five Fat Guys Who Rock."

"Pants are Overrated," said the king as he rummaged in his drawer for "The Lost Underpants of Doom."

"Cultivated Bimbo" "Phlegm Fatale" loves her "Pink Slip Daddy."

And my favorite (so far): "Above Average Weight Band" consumes a "Human Buffet."

Visit the Canonical List of Weird Band Names and see what phrases you can come up with. It's almost as much fun as a close game of solitaire.

One final note: While the Canonical List of Weird Band Names is rated "G," the pages and websites of many of the listed bands are a very strong "MA," so exercise restraint in directing children under 13 (or is it 10 or 11 now, I can never keep track) to any particular band page or site.

Source

Anonymous
The Canonical List of Weird Band Names
http://www.brightlightsfilm.com/weirdbandnames/