The Hype Over Her Hair

This weekend, the whole world heard about Britney Spears' newly baldhead. While it was a refreshing break from the incessant coverage on Anna Nicole Smith's passing, all of the media hype made me yearn for the days when the news discussed concedable issues, such as global warming, politics, or the weather.

But if there's anyone who will benefit from the publicity (because Spears certainly is not), it is the salon that furnished the razor used to annihilate what are now the world's most infamous hair extensions. Esther's Salon is selling Britney Spears' hair on Ebay. Not surprising, these days. If anything, I'm surprised it took so long. Along with the hair, are her Red Bull can and blue Bic lighter to be included in the auction. Just how much is a pile of faux follicles and the world's most overrated energy drink worth? $1,000,000.

When it comes to how much I might consider paying, that's about six too many zeroes. And the Red Bull isn't even full.

Granted, there are some pretty die-hard, fatuous fans of celebrities and worshipers of the ground they walk on (or their shaved off extensions, on which they lay ), but one would have to be absolutely mentally derailed to justify paying that much money for someone else's convoluted coiffure. What exactly does a person do with a box of hair? It's not as if you could frame it, because that's some pretty unprepossessing art. I wouldn't even buy it at a flea market, and that's even after I found out whose hair it was.

And for a $1,000,000 starting price on such a convoluted auction, you'd think the seller could at least state that they'll donate a large portion to a charity. After all, it works for most celebrities who use that claim to get attention for whatever fundraising affair they're up to. Except for maybe Tori Spelling's futile garage sale.

What's more worthy of receiving attention from the media than the hair itself, is the reasoning behind her motivations to mince it off in the first place. Something is going on inside her shorn skull, which is unfortunately being overlooked in favor of the pseudo-event it has become for the news publications to capitalize on.

The July of 1985 issue of Vogue featured the following quote, by Hubert de Givenchy: "Hair style is the final tip-off whether or not a woman really knows herself." Either the times are changing, or Britney is desperately trying to, which in some sense, is admirable. I'm all for taking advantage of any sporadic whim that spawns a newfound sense of freedom from any of the emblematic idealizations we so easily lose ourselves in. People tattoo their entire bodies, becoming animated, breathing masterpieces, yet a shaved head receives unceasing attention from the media - which probably makes infants around the world wonder where in the hell their parade is.

I 'get' the fascination with pop culture and the lives of its icons; as an aspiring journalist I have no room to be anything but unbiased when it comes to the appeal of reporting it. But I still believe that somewhere, there should be a line between newsworthy, well-founded publicity and intrusive scandal mongering, which turns any aspect of a public figure's life into such a side show that it hijacks the concentration of us not-so-public figures, as well.

Martin King once said, "Hair is the richest ornament of women." I suppose that doesn't apply when a woman can afford to buy any hairstyle she wants, but in this particular quote, the term 'rich' is used metaphorically. Therefore, Mr. Givenchy - wise as he is, I'm sure - missed the boat. A woman's hairstyle is not quite as indicative of how well she knows herself, as a woman who feels rich enough with or without it.