The Ignored Market of Stepparents in Greeting Card Companies

I hate the term "broken home". I'm glad my parents got divorced, as a difficult breakup is always preferable to a long, miserable marriage. Both my parents remarried and are happy in their second marriages, and neither harbor grudges against each other for their failed marriage. My situation is hardly unique in the twenty-first century, and yet when holidays come around I always have a hard time finding that "perfect card" for my stepparents.

The scenario is always the same, each time. I'll go into a card store or the card section of a retail store and look for the stepparent cards. The selection is always lousy - oversentimental or cold and distant...those are the choices. I hate to resort to "like a mom/dad" or "friend of the family" cards, as those are more appropriate to family friends rather than an actual member of the family. Therefore I'll either get lucky and fit a suitable card, have to settle, or I'll even buy a mother/father card and write in "step" on the front.

One would think that because the demand is there, the selection would be there. Hallmark has more cards "from the pet" than "for the stepparent". I can usually count up to five stepparent cards in each category, and that's if I'm lucky. I visited Hallmark's website and used their search feature, hoping I would find more items online. Here is what I found: For "Mom", eighty-five products; "Grandma", seventeen; "Dad", fifty products; "Grandpa", eight.

"Stepmother" got one item - a birthday card entitled "Like a Mother to Me". "Stepfather" got four items, but three of them were clearly marked for "Dad", and the one that wasn't was a birthday card, entitled, you guessed it: "Like a Father to Me".

Why the cold shoulder? According to the Stepfamily Foundation, which quoted the data from The US Bureau of Census, "1300 new stepfamilies are forming every day". [1] On his website, Trinity University's Professor Michael C. Kearl (of the Department of Sociology & Anthropology), he states that Hallmark makes cards for "105 different familial relationships". [2] If that's the case, why is it that the selection is so paltry?

The stigmata surrounding stepparents, namely stepmothers, might be to blame. Dawn Miller referred to it as the "Cinderella stigma" on her article for the website The Stepfamily Life. [3] She goes on to cite an example of a family referring to stepparents as "Bonus Mom" and "Bonus Dad", avoiding the namesake altogether. Miller also relates to the greeting card shortage, noting her own stepchildren often find her cards in the "for anyone" or "for friends" section at Hallmark.

In fact, a US News cover story from 1999 notes Hallmark's not-yet launched line of cards for extended families, but cards that didn't have the word "step" on them. [4] The word "step", when connected to the innocent and positive words "mother" and "father" makes it a dirty word, giving it a negative connotation like "un-" and "dis-" does to nouns to make them negative. But "Bonus Mom"? When I describe my stepparents, I use "stepmom" and "stepdad", and I've yet to meet anyone who actually uses a new word to describe them.

This isn't just an American phenomenon. Jessica Findlay wrote an article about Hallmark Canada's consumers getting frustrated over a lack of finding suitable cards. "There seems to be a card for every occasion, but with families constantly changing, greeting card consumers are facing new challenges when picking the perfect message for someone other than mom and dad." [5] Still, there are alternatives to settling for an imperfect card.

Findlay suggested the website 123greetings.com for stepfamilies, which currently has four online cards for stepmothers, and five for stepdads. Also, with user-friendly software, a user could easily make a card for their stepparent(s), but that doesn't erase the fact that they are doing it to make up for the lack of selection in the greeting card industry.

While it wasn't always a smooth transition, those two people are a member of my family. They treat me kindly, with respect, and love me, and I love them as well. They're funny, intelligent, hard-working, and most importantly, they love my parents.

My stepmother knows exactly how my dad's mind works and is always there to support him and care for him, and my stepdad treats my mother with the kind of love and respect that she's always deserved. My father and stepfather will even talk and laugh on the phone occasionally. My stepparents are a part of my family, and the very least these people deserve is a nice card.

[1] - Stepfamily Foundation "The Statistics are Staggering" (http://www.stepfamily.org/stepfamily_statistics.htm)

[2] - Professor Michael C. Kearl, Department of Sociology & Anthropology, Trinity University "Kearl's Guide to the Sociology of the Family: Beyond Nuclear Members" URL: (http://www.trinity.edu/mkearl/fam-extd.html)

[3] - Dawn Miller, "Stepmoms: Dumping the Cinderella Stigma" The Stepfamily Life, April 19, 2004. URL: (http://www.thestepfamilylife.com/Column22.htm)

[4] - Wray Herbert "When Strangers Become Family" US News cover story November 29, 1999. URL: (http://lists101.his.com/pipermail/smartmarriages/1999-November/002408.html)

[5] - Jessica Findlay, "A Card for Every Occasion" The Online Reporter, The University of Western Ontario Graduate Program of Journalism. February 16, 2005. URL: (http://www.fims.uwo.ca/olr/feb1605/greetingJF4.htm)