The Illusion of Sexual Attraction

Millions of books and articles have been written on how to revive and rekindle the sexual passion in long-term relationships. You probably know the list by heart,...wear sexy lingerie, try new sex positions, use body language, talk dirty, share your sexual fantasies, and basically learn how to be a better lover in general, blah, blah, blah... BUT, If you really want to recapture the passion that was once in your love life, read these 10 tips on how to tantalize him outside of the bedroom and really turn him on when it matters the most-inside the bedroom.

Everyone stops and stares as she walks by. Even Mr. Wickerson, the grumpy neighbor next door, who eagerly times his daily departure to work, just to merely catch a glimpse of her legs and a whiff of her perfume as she sashays to get into her car. The average attractive woman has the ability to cause an admiring driver to miss his turn before the light changes; and the guys at work to look forward to the next day, just to see what she is wearing. So what could possibly be the problem? Well, the problem is learning how to maintain the smoldering captivation of the man who sleeps next to her each night. The man who reaches to kiss her each night with rollers in her hair, but decides a good night peck would be better because he has yet to acquire a taste for facial moisturizer.

Being a witness to the transformation of the woman he loves from not-fit-for-public to sex goddess while she shaves her arm pits and legs, flosses her teeth and gives herself a mud facial is not, -exactly- sexually appealing. It's like watching someone kill the cow and grind the beef, before serving your hamburger to you. Yes, you love him and he loves you, but love doesn't necessarily make ones heart race and pupils dilate without the proper visual and social stimulation. However, love and desire can be combined if a woman learns how to bring passion back into the bedroom, by making her mate see her as other men do.

Sex is prevalent in the media. It portrays an illusion of beauty that leads people to believe that everyone is living sexually fulfilling lives of bliss. "Everyone is getting more and better sex than me," we think to ourselves. But the reality is the sex we see outside of our bedrooms in Playboy-type-magazines, exotic dance clubs and glamorous models and movie stars create a fantasy that compels us to sigh at our own sexual attractive and boring sex life.

We express or sexuality not only in the bedroom where no one can see us; we also express it publicly in how we display our physical appeal by our choice of hairstyle, clothing, make-up, perfume, and even the way we walk. Therefore, the magic that we clamor to bring back to the bedroom constantly eludes us because it was never created there in the first place. What attracted him to you, and you to him took place outside of the bedroom. The love and passion found in the bedroom is actually a combination of the sexual illusion and the real person. Contrary to what most sex literature tells us, actually romance and good sex are a reflection of what is going on OUTSIDE of the bedroom.

1. Have him visit you on your job. You have a special personality that exudes the essence of your being. This is what makes you special. Maybe you have a frisky way of moving your hair and engaging your body close to others during conversations that drives him crazy with jealousy and desire. Remind him. Let him observe your intellectual side.

2.Go dancing. Let him watch other men watch you. Wear your sexiest outfit. Be yourself. Bewitchingly shift your eyes across the room and flirtingly give brief eye contact to everyone you meet. The most beautiful women in the room will feel a bit intimidated by your boldness and the men will find your openness unforgettable.

3. While doing household chores and running weekend errands, wear something covertly sexy. There is nothing sexier than the ragged shirt that shows your cleavage when you bend over to dust the furniture. Wear a little make-up in the house and find that I-didn't-know-I-was-sexy-hairstyle that makes him peek over his Saturday morning newspaper.

4. Go out with the girls but model the outfit you will be wearing for him. Let him imagine what other men will think when they see you in that dress.

5. Create distance and closeness in the relationship at the same time. Have dinner with a friend during the week, but send him a card telling him how much you love him. Call him to let him know you miss him, but don't go over to his house for dinner. The point is to let his know you love him, but give him space to miss you. Men respect independent women who are not afraid to show their vulnerability.

6. Find a hobby. The biggest part of sex appeal is being an interesting person. This will give you something exciting to talk about in addition to expanding your knowledge base. What separates you from other women is more mental than physical; dazzle him with your enthusiasm for life.