The Impact of Sex & the Happy Marriage

Divorce rates in the United States are exceeding 50 percent, more than any other marriage statistic in the world. At the core of the marriage discord, often, are the issues many men struggle with and the methods to best improve the happiness in their own marriage. With most marriage counselors reporting the key factors of discord in a marriage being issues involving money and sex, it is no wonder American families are falling apart.

For men, using some simple techniques to improve both the physical and emotional health of the marriage may provide for significant reductions in the divorce rate of the United States. Even for those couples who are not yet married, learning to communicate on these crucial topics, such as sex, may provide for a more successful marriage.

As both men and women will agree, the concept of sex and the act of sexual intercourse differ in concept for men and women. For women, sex, often, is linked to an underlying emotional connection; one that may involve family, intimacy and even spirituality. For men, however, sex is more of a physical act of pleasure. Added to the emotional dynamics of sex in a woman are the hormonal factors which also regulate the libido. For men, these two dynamics, together, are difficult to comprehend and understand.

Most men, we believe, will agree that, although they do not understand the dynamics of a woman's sexual core, they clearly understand there are times when sex is not something a woman is interested in. However, these same men will also agree the key focus of the disagreements around sex, in the marriage, involves a woman's consistent turning away of her husband and not sacrificing her own feelings for his.

For men, finding a way to show compassion and support for the spouse, when libido is low, may promote more sex in the marriage. Using soft spoken words, small gestures of love and commitment and even listening to her complaints of the day, will send a message to your wife that you love and care for her well being and, in turn, she will feel that emotional connection to you even when the hormonal base is not present. The key, here, is to avoid making physical and verbal sexual gestures which only serve to turn off the libido even further in a woman. Using indirect approaches, in showing love and support through other ways, will work to improve the overall attachment and bonding in the relationship.

As with any marriage conflict, the key to successful outcomes, for the most part, lies in the ability of the couple to communicate. For men, understanding emotional dynamics of the sex and how it plays a role for the spouse, and applying those understandings to your daily life activities, may work to improve the communication about this key marital discord topic; sex.