The Importance of Encouraging Children

How many times have you told your child they did a good job? Can you count how many times you praised them for their work or behavior just today? I bet you can't, but I'm sure you praise and encourage them more than you would expect.

Every human being has the desire to be recognized for their abilities and their accomplishments. If we fail, we don't want people behind us telling us about every little thing we've done wrong, nor do we want to hear over and over again about the failure. We want to be told that it's ok; we'll get them next time. Children are no different. Praise alone however, will not supplement a child. When children are having difficulty with a task, tell them "good job" regardless of how horrible it may be going. They may be making progress, they may be trying their hardest but accomplishing nothing, so along with your praise, you should offer them a bit of help. If you see a child struggling, but making headway on a project, praise and then show them a different way to accomplish the task.

Not only are you praising their efforts for trying, and their efforts for all of their hard work, you are also offering them a bit of help to better themselves. Children want to be the best at everything they do, and by helping them fix what may be wrong, you are helping to better their self esteem by showing them they can accomplish tasks.

Balancing activities that children excel in, with activities they are not so great in, you are helping to increase their self worth and self esteem by letting them accomplish tasks that come easy to them and you are allowing them to be praised for trying to accomplish something they may have great difficulty with. If you don't encourage children to try, what are you going to do if they stop trying all together? They want to know that even if they fail, they have loving, supportive parents or caregivers behind them 100%. I've seen children work hard all day to present mom or dad with this special item they made in class, but once mom or dad shows no interest, their self esteem plummets and they are no longer proud of their work. What message does that send to young children?

For one, not showing interest in their work can discourage them. I worked with one child that created several pictures and class art projects for his mother. She would come to pick him up from school and he would excitedly show his art to his mother and tell her he made them just for her. More often than not, she said, "That's nice", and never gave his work another thought. She never praised him, or said thanks. A few days of this, and he no longer was interested in art, or in making something for his mother. It took a lot of praise and encouragement from the worker's at the center to get him back on track, and even then he would still shy away from art projects if we would let him.

So parents, encourage your children as much as you can. Praise them for jobs well done and encourage them and praise them even when they aren't doing so well. Praising children, and encouraging them to continue to do their best, builds self esteem in children. Children with high self esteem will be ready to learn, willing to work, and more willing to work harder in subjects they cannot quite master.