The Importance of a Father in the Life of His Daughter

When I got married five years ago, I don't think I truly realized the awesome responsibility that loomed before me. Several years before that, after breaking off an engagement with someone the Lord did not intend for me to marry, I got a glimpse of how unprepared I was for the burden of being a husband. My ex-fiancé and I would've been ill-matched anyway, but as the relationship dissolved, I was painfully aware of the mistakes I'd made, and that even though I had been "ready" to get married from a commitmentto one person perspective, I was nowhere near ready to accept the welfare of someone's daughter. It hurt a lot, and took many years of introspective study and prayer before God made me ready for my beautiful wife and true soul mate, Abby.

However, even then, I don't think it ever hit me what role I was going to have to play someday as a father, and that's pretty natural - for the first couple years, I was focused on not screwing up the husband part (which God willing - and thanks to a very patient wife - I managed not to do). However, just about two years ago, a new world of hopes, dreams, responsibility - as well as gut-wrenching nightmares - was opened up when our daughter Madison Kennedy Lucia was ushered into the world. Even in the middle of all that, though, it was easy to get caught up in 'proud, doting father' syndrome, and it only really settled in about six months later the impact I would have on my daughter.

It happened naturally enough, but gradually I realized that Madison spent an enormous amount of time watching me. And watching me.

And watching me some more.Watching everything.

And then doing everything I did, copying me to the very 'T'.

It hit me like a sledgehammer then, as I'm sure it does many dads - my daughter/sonwatches myeverymovement; everything I say, do, and will someday model themselves after me.

Wow. Talk about massive reality check. The thought a small child, so helpless, innocent, and without their own self-determination, would base their initial perspectives of the world on someone like me was awe-inspiring, humbling - and just plain frightening, all at once.

However - at least it hit me, because sad to say, we're living in a world where many men never make this connection - even Christian dads. They get caught up in so many other, manly things - doing chores, (which of course, do need to be done eventually, unless you want to hack your way to the front door with a machete), picking up an extra job or working later hours so they can provide better financially for their family - you know, all the man stuff. Plus, it's tough to give up playing hoops with guys, shooting a round of golf, or tooling around in the garage. After all - as babies, they're noisy, stinky, and not very interesting - and let's be honest, this is not what men do, right?

Sadly, these men miss out on the formative years of their sons and daughters' childhood, their once in a lifetime chance to bond with their children passing them by, leaving their kids with memories of a dad who always too preoccupied with "man stuff" to ever build a relationship with them.

Dads - if you're reading this and it strikes a chord, or even if you think you're "all good", as they say today - go to your nearest Christian bookstore or go online and get What A Difference A Daddy Makes, by Dr. Kevin Leman. This is an insightful devotional that focuses especially on the relationship between a father and his daughter, but it embodies principles that all men should incorporate into their lives. Dr. Leman presents advice and Biblical direction in a conversational, frank, and practical way. He couches no terms in this book, presenting the Biblical model of a man, which clearly contradicts the world's concept of "manliness".

The most humbling aspect of this book is how, in many ways, men have abandoned their crucial role in their daughter's lives, thinking that the sole responsibility of raising a girl should go to - well, the other girl in the family, the older one - mom. When a father starts considering that he models not only a healthy marital relationship to his daughter, influencing what type of mate she will pick someday and what type of wife she will be, but also acts as an archetype for how his daughter will someday relate with her heavenly father, the implications are astounding.

Men, don't miss out on the precious relationship that you could have with your children, especially your daughters. Go buy What A Difference A Daddy Makes at a Christian bookstore nearest you today, or better yet - put off the lawn until tommorrow, don't worry about the timing on the truck engine, and take a break from golf. Play with your kids, take them to the park - let them know who Dad really is.Visit http://www.drleman.com/ for devotionals and family living materials.