The Importance of Fathers

"Fatherhood turns out to be a complex and unique phenomenon with huge consequences for the emotional and intellectual growth of children." - Psychology Today.

Fathers everywhere are thinking, "Finally, I am validated." Fathers are crucial to childrearing. According to David Popenoe, a famous sociologist,
"Fathers are far more than just 'second adults' in the home. Involved fathers - especially biological fathers - bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is likely to bring." Fathers make significant contributions to a child's social, emotional, physical, and cognitive development.

The Father's Role in Physical Development
Fathers are much more physical with their children. They tend to wrestle with their children. They tickle. They chase their kids, throw them in the air. This roughhousing helps children develop their muscles and their sense of balance. It also helps develop independence in children. According to John Snarey, a fathering expert, children who roughhouse with their fathers learn that violence is not acceptable. The children learn when it is time to settle down and begin to regain control.

The Father's Role in Building Confidence
While a mother tends to be cautious, always warning, "Be careful", a father tells the child to run faster, climb, try again. This interaction builds confidence in the child. Either one of these interactions by itself can be detrimental to the child. The mother can cause the child to be to cautious and scared of situations; the father can cause the child to be reckless. Both types of interactions are necessary for proper development.

The Father's Role in Language
In talking to their children, fathers tend to be concise and to the point. They also tend to talk using words that they would use everyday, while mothers tend to use smaller words to facilitate communication with their children. Although children may not always understand what dad is trying to tell them by using adult words, this communication helps the child develop a higher vocabulary. Mom tends to be descriptive, teaching the child observation skills and how to tell personal stories. Fathers, on the other hand, are direct. This teaches the children to read their father's body language and facial expressions.

The Father's Role in Gender Interactions
Children having an involved father can teach the child to have respect for those of the opposite sex. Fathers can teach boys how to treat women with respect, and teach them to use their strength and masculinity in positive ways. Men who had involved fathers at home tend to be better husbands as they can imitate their father's strengths. Girls of involved fathers tend to be more confident with members of the opposite sex and tend to have healthier relationships. Girls learn what is inappropriate behavior from men. They have emotional security and tend to be safer from dangerous men.

The Father's Role in Discipline
Fathers tend to enforce the rules strictly. Children get a sense of what is appropriate and what is not appropriate quickly. They learn justice and fairness from their fathers. Children also learn a sense of responsibility from their dads. Mothers tend to stress empathy. Children learn that they can redeem themselves by doing better next time.

Fathers and mothers are both equally necessary for the upbringing of a child. They provide balance in the lessons taught. However, many households are single parent households. In addition, there are more and more same sex couples becoming parents. In these instances, a child can still be well adjusted and balanced. In order for this to occur though, someone in the child's life needs to take on the male role and someone needs to take on the female role. This will provide stability, confidence, and teach the child proper interaction between sexes.