The Impossibility of World Peace

The last time I was drunk, I thought to myself, "If everyone in the world, everywhere, could be drunk simultaneously, you know, have one huge, world party with everyone invited, then there could truly be world peace. I mean, look at all these people, just at this one party - all milling around in one confused, roiling mass. But it's a happy, roiling mass, too. Hardly anyone here knows anyone else, and yet they smile, introduce themselves, dance together. This is really great."

But then I come to find out there are such things as sad drunks. Even angry drunks that like to pick fights with people at the slightest provocation. And I realized that not everyone can coexist in harmony, not even when drunk, brain half-deactivated, cognitive potential resembling that of a child.

And there went my big idea for world peace.