The Incovenience of Sexual Attraction

I am genuinely mad at my biological predisposition to reproduce. All factors considering, over population, social constructions, and divorce rate, the primarily sexually driven-romantic relationship should be obsolete! What I'm trying to say here is that I am pissed that I can not be satisfied with spending my life with someone whom I am not sexually attracted to. This "chemistry" bullshit is just that, bullshit. It's based on an unconscious desire to breed, what a terribly insignificant factor to found a partnership on! At this very moment I know three individuals whom I truly believe I could spend my life with. I have bonds so deep with them that I have no doubt we could form beautiful lives together, raise children if we so chose, and take fantastic adventures. A relationship rich with love, laughter, support, communication, trust… It sounds ideal doesn't it? But these relationships would ultimately leave me dissatisfied because they would be void of sex. That's it. I don't understand human nature and this ridiculous "x" factor. It seems odd to me that I will continue to search for a man that I share a similar bond with that I have already established with three other individuals. The only difference being that I would hopefully be outrageously sexually attracted to him, and he I. Why the need for sexual validations? Is it genetic or is it a social construct?

This seems even more outrageous because I understand that in very long term relationships that attraction fades, and takes a distant second place to the foundation that all good relationships are formed. I also don't even know if I want children, so biologically speaking sexual attraction is completely unnecessary for me, then why does romantic love feel like such a necessity? Why when I am so rich with personal, soul quenching relationships am I left deeply unsatisfied? This is the inconvenience of sexual attraction, this is my dilemma. Something inside me says that "love" as we define in it pure romantic terms, is far too limiting. If companionship is a human need then why not form life long companionships that are a bit more unconventional, spend the rest of your life with a great friend, why is that so bizarre. Is it truly a genetic drive or is it a social construction that is engrained in us so deeply for so many years that we believe we need this romantic partnership to be happy?

I would love to be reprogrammed. I would love to build my life around two women and a gay man and never feel like something was lacking. I guarantee that my unconventional marriage would be happier, healthier, and more successful that 92% of marriages out there. I do believe in true love, I just think it comes in more than one form. I think that "love" and "sex" may not be as intricately linked as we think they are. Maybe we wove the two together over thousands of years out of the necessity to reproduce and ensure our success as a species, but news flash: that era is over. Our success as a species might now be based on our ability to maintain a stable population, so why not deconstruct the previous notions of partnership?

But alas sexuality whether genetically or socially engrained has been forced upon us in such a way that it seems unnatural to not prioritize it. But such is life, and though I would adore to be reprogrammed, I would love even more to be proven wrong. To understand this necessity through personal experience, through animalistic instinct, to put my mind at ease by listening to my gut say "oh, alright, so that's what all of the fuss is about", I mean I am only human after all.