The Inherent Downfalls Associated with Having Superpowers

So, I just took a MySpace survey, and I was asked, "If you could have one superpower what would it be?" Now, I eventually went with a generic answer and moved on. Most people have an answer all lined up, but I really thought about it, and every superpower seemed to have inherent downfalls. Don't believe me?

Super strength, we can all look at The Hulk for the world's best example of roid rage, or Arnold Schwarzenegger for the other downfalls, like bad holiday movies and being called the Governator, trust me that's a downfall Not to mention that when you went to hug a loved one you would turn their bones into dust. Sure you could fight crime, but you would immediatley be prosecuted for murder.

Super-speed, with that you would get a faster metabolism. The Flash ran so fast around the world that he actually turned back time. Let's say at normal speed, you ran around the earth, can you imagine how tired yo uwould be, how hungry, how thirsty, how badly your muscles would want to burst into flames and fall off. Imagine doing that at 5 kajillion miles per hour. Your metabolism would increase to a rate that your food intake would not be able to keep up and you would die, not to mention any slight friction between your thighs would cause your entire body to burst into flames.

Reading someone's mind. Sounds good, right? If you think this sounds good, you obviously view the world through rose-colored glasses. First of all, you would automatically find out what everyone close to you really thinks. Could you really take your Mom saying, "Ugh, sometimes you disgust me. I wish I'd never had children." But, let's say your Mom is nice and loving and never thinks bad about people. Could you really take this thought from your Mom when your Dad walks in? "Oh, he looks good in those jeans, Meow!" WOAH! Enough of that. This article has been rated PG-13. All your friends, well you're about to find out that they all lust after your girlfriend, and your girlfriend.... you may think you want to hear her thoughts, but if you're ready to dive into any woman's mind, you're a braver man than I.

Heat vision, I'm positive this would have permanent effects on your vision. And what's the point of using your heat vision in old age, if you can't see who's house you're burning down... I mean what you're heating.

Super-healing, ooh even though a little tame, still a super-power, AND the super-power of the world's most "awesomest" super-hero, Wolverine. Well, without the shiny metal claws, that power is just lame. You get the crap beaten out of you by a gang, and you get up in horrific pain and say, "Ha, not a scratch on me." So, they beat you down for another few hours until you go into shock.

Flight, this is a popular one, so pay attention. Let's say your gliding along on a nice summer day, all of the sudden, out of nowhere, there's a giant 747 flying at you! You try to pull off course, but just end up flying into their engine killing you and everyone on the flight. Way to go, Mr. I-Want-Superpowers! "Oh, I'll just stay above where the planes fly." Well, good luck not freezing to death while you're up that high. Not to mention that if you flew for more than a few miles or so (and with gas prices, superhero flying would be your only method of transportation) you would be plastered with bugs by the time you got to your destination.

Time travel, let's say you got curious and went back to meet your great-great-great grandfather Lars the Viking. Well, you talk to him for awhile and you say, "I'm from the future, actually." It just slips out after all the mead you've been tipping back. So, he exclaims, "WITCH!" and you are promptly slain by the horde of Vikings. Bonus downer: While you were chatting up your great great great Grampy, he was supposed to be courting your great-great-great grammy gram-grams. So, you're parents are never born. So, you're never born. So, you can never go back in time to stop yourself from being born. You cause a paradox, the universe implodes on itself. So, because you wanted your stupid superpower, you wiped out existence, way to go.

Still wish you had super-powers? Invisibility, oh it's really nice, but you have to be naked, there's no clothing that can become invisible. So, let's say you decided to sneak in to the girl's locker room. Tee-hee, you're so smart, and a pervert, get a life. But, wait, you walked in and the girls have already showered, now they're sitting around haveing "girl talk" but you can't leave, they'll see the door open. So, you wait and wait, eventually you can't take it anymore and you fall asleep, but as soon as you drop off to sleep, you're invisibility wears off. So, everyone, EVERYONE gets an eyefull of your nakedness.

Mind control, well this might be all well and good for a while, but what happens when you've done everything and you own everything. Boredom. Uncurable boredom. Not only that, but you get stuck wondering, "Does anyone like me, or is it just because I'm controlling their thoughts?"

Complete Invulnerability, sure you wouldn't be able to be harmed, but with invulnerability to disease, and outside causes of death, you'd be alive forever and ever and ever and ever and ever. Long after the sun went out and the planet froze you'd be here, stuck in ice, totally alive for all eternity.

Personally, I'd rather be boring old Mat, no superpowers, no nothing. The fact is, if you can think of a superpower, you can think of something that completely ruins it's initial appeal for you. Sorry, for everyone who was thinking about becoming a super-hero, but you may want to pick a different path in life. Perhaps Rockstar or more likely, Janitor.