The Insomniac's Lament

The clock said 3:30 - AM
Frustrated, I emitted a loud sigh
Way too early to get out of bed
But hours before the sun would rise in the sky

Made a cup of chamomile tea
Took the hot drink back to my bed
Put on the cartoon network for a few laughs
But sleep was elusive; I was more wide awake instead

I started to doze and was heading into dreamland
When I felt a monster paw hit me in the face
"Get up! Hurry, I need to go out."
So, to the backdoor, the big dog and I raced

Okay, I admit it was not a verbal command
But there was no mistaking the moose's need
I've learned if I delay, there will be a puddle downstairs
And from a 90-pound dog, that is a puddle indeed

Now, with her bladder empty
I went upstairs to take at least a nap
And the little dog stood over me looking bewildered
"Hey, what about me? What am I - dog crap?"

Again, I do not hear my dogs' voices
Don't rush to commit me; I am sort of sane
But I can tell what they think by the look on their faces
And this one's bladder too needed to drain

So, back downstairs to the yard once again
She piddled and then asked for a treat
Then back to my bed where my husband snored loudly
I hit him with the pillow as I was not feeling so sweet

"Hey, what's up with you?" -- These words came forth
"I can't sleep and both dogs had to go out
How do you sleep so freaking soundly
You never wake up - even if I shout!"

"I still have jet lag; I am on west coast time"
I could hear the self-pity violins begin to play
"That trip was last week; jet lag is over;
Stay up with me and greet the new day"

He turned his back toward me and grumbled
He ignored my plea; In fact, he was a bit terse
So, I took out my laptop and began to write
And that is why you have this ridiculous verse