The Instigators Guide to Winning Arguments

You don't have to strain your vocal cords by yelling to win arguments.That just isn't an efficient way to succeed in anything, really. Arguing with another human being is somewhat of an art. Throwing pastels all over the place won't guarantee a masterpiece painting. To win an argument, one must approach their opposition with poise and cunning. My techniques will help you to achieve ultimate verbal victory.

Winning an argument; Deflect blame.
Passing blame is, without a doubt, the most useful tool ever invented. Nobody with a fully functional brain would have the audacity to argue against a statement like that. Even if they did, they'd soon backtrack and blame their masonry instructor for leading them astray. You should always pass blame to a third party within the first 2 minutes of an argument After the two minute warning is over, the opportunity for escape has passed, and you're in it for the long haul.

Winning an argument: Light flirting.
Although some will likely take umbrage to this allegation, it's an unspoken fact that women are more likely to initiate an argument than men. That's probably because they are a lot more persistent. Seeing as about 43% of all women start 99.8% of all arguments, flirting with the aggressor seems like a pretty good plan of action. It won't end your ensuing argument forthright, it will set up the next tactic without fail.

Winning an argument. Dramatic Shift technique.
What did you do to your hair? Are you using a new conditioner? I know I was in the middle of pointing out how unbelievable wrong you always are about everything, but the very sight of you under this lighting is stunning! After she begins to blush, continue your side of the argument. Odds of winning are tripled due to the focus being temporarily shifted to another subject, then back again. If compliments are out of the question, try current events. make reference to a popular news story, scandal involving a Hollywood starlet, or anything else non-argument related.

Winning an argument: Agree to disagree.
Agreeing to disagree has nothing to do with swallowing your pride. Most people can't live without pride. You can stand before your worthy opponent after battling them to a standstill, and agree that one of them(the one that isn't you), like it or not, is wrong. The unresolved issue that remains is simple: Are they completely wrong, or are they only slightly wrong.