The International Moms Club Might Just Save Your Sanity!

Although our society no longer has many true "rites of passage," there is one rite of passage that will always remain- parenthood. Particularly for women, it seems that having children instantly redefines one's identity; it changes you as a person, or at the very least, completely changes your life. Because motherhood is an experience like no other, Moms need a club like no other- The International Moms Club.

When I became a mom last summer, I began to feel like no one really understood what I was going through. None of my friends had kids, and as much as I appreciated my time on maternity leave, I was lonely. I loved being home with my son, but missed the social interaction I had previously enjoyed. Recently, I had a chance to talk to the founder of the International Moms Club, Mary James, and I realized how common my feelings were for a new mom. Twenty-four years ago, in 1983, stay-at-home-mom Mary James was experiencing the same feelings.

Being fairly new to the area, Mary didn't know anyone in Simi Valley and was sick of being at home alone with a baby and a preschooler. She wanted to find other moms in the same situation. Upon realizing that there was no support group for at-home moms, she decided to start her own. She placed announcements in the newspaper, posted fliers in doctor's offices and on bulletins boards, and soon she had her first meeting. While this first Moms Club started with only 11 moms meeting in a community room at the library, the club quickly blossomed. Two months after the club started, the local newspaper came to run a story; by then the Simi Valley Moms Club had over 30 moms and 60 kids involved! The International Moms Club now has more than 2,000 chapters in the US alone, and over 100,000 members!. (www.momsclub.org)

Mary's children, particularly her youngest daughter, Jenny, grew up with the Moms Club. Mary remembers, "Jenny enjoyed it a lot. She met all her preschool friends there and was basically our toddler hostess. When someone would come in with a toddler, she'd go up and take them by the hand to lead them into the children's room. When she and her best friend Daniel were finally tall enough to see what was on TOP of the tables, they discovered a whole new reason to love meetings- refreshments!"

Julie Gonzales of Tarzana, Calif., had a similar experience after becoming a mom in the spring of 2006. After giving birth to her daughter, London, Julie's former boss told her about the Moms Club. At first, she didn't think much about it, but not for long. She soon realized how lonely she was and how many questions she had. Since none of her friends had babies, she felt like she needed somewhere to turn. Remembering what her boss had told her about how great Moms Club is, Julie visited the Moms Club website and found the Moms Club nearest her. Since the nearest Moms Club wasn't exactly in her area, Julie eventually decided to start her own, and is currently the president of Tarzana Moms Club.

Moms with feelings like Mary's and Julie's are not uncommon. In "The Darker Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom," Nichole Smith admits that stay home moms can be very lonely. "Most of our days really are spent at home with the children," she points out, "With that isolation can come low-self esteem and depression. Talking to a babbling infant all day long can be very tedious and exhausting." It is for Moms like these that the International Moms Club exists. As Julie Gonzales commented, "Sometimes you just become desperate. With Moms Club, there is always someone you can turn to."

Among other things, the Moms Club offers daytime activities and playgroups for at-home moms to bring babies and kids of all ages. As Julie explained it, "these playgroups act as a socialization tool for the child and a support group for the mommy." Activities differ from chapter to chapter, but there is usually a wide variety, and the cost of most Moms Club activities in included in the affordable annual dues (usually about $20-$30 a year). As Mary James described it, many chapters have "a monthly moms' night out [without the kids], a babysitting coop, service projects benefiting needy children in the community, and other activities like exercise groups, arts 'n crafts, cooking groups or mommy playgroups (for moms whose kids are all in school)."

Unlike some clubs which require an obligatory time commitment, the Moms Club is there to support moms, not tie them down. Although the Moms Club offers a full calendar of activities, each mom's level of involvement is a personal decision. However, as Mary James said, "you'll only get out of the chapter what you put into it. Being a part of a chapter gives you a reason to get out of the house- things to do and people to meet!" It's all about fun... for moms AND their children!

What many moms may not realize is that there are working moms in Moms Club, too. Although it was started to support at-home Moms, and most activities are during the day (when at home moms most need the support), Tarzana Moms Club President Julie has found that about 50% of the Tarzana members are working moms.

In addition, International Moms Club President Mary James stresses that, "We don't define an at-home mom as someone who doesn't work... that's what you hear in the standard media, but it's a myth. MOST mothers who stay home do something that the Department of Labor considers makes them a working mother. They may work part-time or odd hours, they may freelance or work weekends, or they may work at home." In fact, when Mary asked 50 moms in her chapter if they did anything to earn money for their family, 49 of them said they did- either working at home, working odd hours, or doing work that they could do while taking the children with them.

In a time when more and more moms are finding ways to be home with their children during the day, it is nice to know that the Moms Club exists to provide support. "You deserve Moms Club," says Julie Gonzales, "because being a mom is a selfless job, and we deserve that support, understanding, and friendship."

To find a chapter near you, visit www.momsclub.org