The Internet, Bipolar Relationships, and You

The anonymity of cyberspace has created a niche market in relationships. As dating sites continue to appear, and chat rooms fill with the silent hopefuls of finding love in different ways, that anonymity has been an attraction for people with bipolar disorder.

People communicate on the internet in ways they would not ordinarily say or do in the real world. They feel more uninhibited, and express themselves more openly. This is called the Disinhibition Effect. They separate their actions from their real world identity; they feel less vulnerable. Often, they do not acknowledge their behavior as being in the context of who they really are. In effect, they do not take responsibility for their actions. In psychology, this is called dissociation. A process of where people do not associate themselves with their own actions.

With this seemingly magical quality of anonymity, bipolar individuals are often drawn to the internet. There are limitless amounts of people from which to obtain attention. In a world of internet relationships, there are several signs to watch for when considering bipolar disorder.

Hyper-sexuality

This is a real problem for bipolar individuals. Their thoughts, feelings, and actions can be driven by sexuality and the bipolar person finds it powerful and intoxicating. Often, this causes one to engage in flirtatious, seductive behavior, beyond the norm. Real relationships are abandoned by the immeasurable choices from which one can gain the attention they seek. Unfortunately, it can lead to dangerous online (and offline) situations. At worst, it often causes irreparable damage to integrity, dignity, and reputation.

Perceptual problems

Even in a physical conversation, rather than online, the bipolar individual has problems properly interpreting voice and body language. In the emotionless environment of the internet, those nuances are further removed. Misunderstandings will often occur; intentions and motives will be misinterpreted. This will often cause arguments in the relationship with a bipolar individual. He or she will take something said in the wrong manner and react to it in kind.

Poor impulse control

We all react on impulse. Bipolar, however have poor control over those impulses and tend to have a desire to live in the moment without consideration for the future. During episodes of mania and depression, these impulses are taken to the extreme. This lack of control mixed with hyper-sexuality can lead to some intense encounters on the internet.

Poor self-esteem

We all have a need for attention to some degree. However, bipolar often have a desperate need for attention. They desire friendship and seek constant validation from other human beings. These feelings make them extremely vulnerable to deceit and internet prowlers.

Grandiosity

Such is the way of a bipolar individual. They think they have absolute clarity and can do no wrong. They often make bad decisions; many times extremely detrimental decisions. Yet to the bipolar individual, those decisions seem to make perfect sense. This extends to relationship choices, and the unintended cycle of bad relationship decisions. Often you will find a bipolar speaking of why they made a bad decision, and then making that decision again. Beyond relationship choices, grandiosity can take the form of any decision that does not apply to normal rules and thinking. The bipolar cannot understand why it is wrong, when it makes perfect sense to them.

So, what does this mean for the average internet dater? It means that when beginning a relationship with a person suffering from bipolar disorder, you will have to have a good understanding of how the disease affects them. Their actions and responses may not be compatible with a relationship and often the relationship does not work out.

In no way does this mean that a relationship cannot work out, it will just take a person of considerable understanding and strength of conviction to survive in the relationship. There are many support groups available for relationships involving a person with bipolar disorder. Recognizing the signs will enable you to better prepare yourself for the rocky road that is usually involved with romancing a bipolar partner.